Horrors, by mistake :)

A high spirited, chirpy new friend of mine tagged me quite some time back.

Quoting the clichéd ‘better late than never’, here is the list of my domestic horrors:

———————————————————————————–

I am this just-married brand new bride who does not know the in-law’s language and hence communicates with them mostly in English or sign language.  It is only a couple of days with the in-laws and the MIL switches over from English to her native language (Tamil) without any warning! I smile or nod stupidly at everything she says, with no clue about the meaning whatsoever

One fine morning I am seated in the living room with the newspaper when MIL walks by saying something in Tamil. I nod with a smile, as usual, before getting back to the newspaper.

In a few minutes, I smell something burning. But, I had no reason to worry – MIL was in charge of the kitchen anyway, I thought. The smell just kept getting worse and I opened the windows and doors to drive it out. Finally, when there was no sign of the stink subsiding, I entered the kitchen to find NOBODY there, but a vessel full of milk boiling and spilling out into the flames !!

Apparently, the MIL had told me in her PUREST form of Tamil that she was going out for a while and there is milk boiling on the stove. Bah! I was embarrassed to bits when FIL and my other half laughed hard at my horror stricken face.

But, heaven knows I wanted to shout at the MIL and say- “You could have cut some slack and told it in English for this poor Non-Tamil soul here, no??!”

———————————————————————————–

Me and H moved into our first little rented house in Bangalore a little after the wedding and set up a ‘home’ together. After recovering from the initial shock to learn that I am in charge of the kitchen all by myself with no help, I got to serious business. From cooking rice to making sambhar and curry – H yielded ( had no other way, I guess) to be the guinea pig for my culinary experiments Some misses and some hits, but I grew more confident by the day.

One morning, when H was away in office, I was frying some veggies but got distracted and went away to the other room, only to come back and find all my hard work turned to black charcoal in the pan.I couldn’t take that kind of insult on my attempts (ahem), picked up the purse and walked out to a nearest restaurant.

I came back home with a big styrofoam box full of hot spicy curry, nicely transferred it into a fresh vessel, stirred it with a spoon and covered with a lid. H came home for lunch those days because I was not yet working then. Plus, he loved the yummy home made food his new wife made ( or so I like to believe). No doubt, the ’special curry’ received much compliments and I was praised to no end…he thought I had finally got there! ( where?)

Only a couple of years later, when I had indeed mastered most of his favorite dishes did I let him into the truth of the special curry he enjoyed so much one day and wondered why I did not make it that way ever again !

———————————————————————————–

I was working on a project assignment and moved to the US for the first time, alone. I was put up in a company provided fully furnished apartment. It had a beautiful kitchen with all amenities – Fridge and Oven to vessels and spoons, you name it. I mostly cooked, but ordered in on lazy days. The leftover pizza that I ordered on one of those days was packed in a silver foil and kept aside for dinner. At night, I promptly picked it up , with the silver foil et all , put it in the microwave and pressed ‘Start’.

It took only a few seconds before fumes started emerging out wickedly. I was too nervous to even get closer and switch off. But, thankfully, it switched off on its own soon… after a loud explosion creating a big hole  on the microwave door

My company was too kind and paid the damage costs while the apartment people left me with a warning only.Why? Maybe because the whole thing did not involve a fire engine and police knocking on their doors. Hehehe.

———————————————————————————–

Cannot think of any major horror story since then. Oh, that translates to “I have now become so much responsible and cautious and superb at all I do in the kitchen ..I am simply – awesomely – fantastically GREAT!”

Ok, not exactly that..but something like that

What’s your part of the horror story?

 

Weaker Sex

Lunch break conversation in the cafeteria:

Me: So, what do you have for breakfast?

DesiColleagueGuy1: Parathey

Me: Daily?

DesiColleagueGuy1: Yes, my wife wakes up early and makes them for me everyday.

Me: Wow!!

DesiColleagueGuy2: Why do you act so shocked? His wife is just being a good  ’Bharatiya Naari’.

Me: What? Why do you label it that? Who set the benchmark for a Bharatiya Naari ?

DesiColleagueGuy2:Now don’t act all non-feminist. I just spoke fact.

Me: Firstly, it is ‘feminist’ and not ‘non’.Do you even know what it means?

DesiColleagueGuy2: Whatever..

Me: The ‘Bharatiya Naari’ and its specifications all came from men.

DesiColleagueGuy2: So what?

Me: If women were given a chance they would change the definition of Bharatiya Naari, am sure.

DesiColleagueGuy2: Haha, who stopped them?

Me: Now, don’t get me started man,. From time immemorial women have been treated inferior by men. Mostly because men are physically stronger.

DesiColleagueGuy1: How can you say that? I think it is more to do with mental  strength and intelligence.

Me: And how is that?

DesiColleagueGuy1: Look, if women had enough mental strength and smartness to break the rules and go ahead, they would have! No man could have stopped them.

Me: You mean women were treated inferior because they were less smarter than men?

DesiColleagueGuy2: Of course! We even have a saying in my native language for that. Translates to say “smartness of a woman is lesser than the sole of her feet”

Me: Wha..???

DesiColleagueGuy1: So, it has all to do with mental abilities ..and why men claimed superiority

Me: Huh? I will never accept women are any lesser than men when it comes to brains. I think it all started with physical differences. Men kept women subdued because  they were the weaker of the sexes, physically. Since the age old days, men were the ones who built countries and formed laws.Women were hardly in picture!

DesiColleagueGuy1: Ah…Why were they not in picture? Because they  were not smart enough.

Me: You don’t get my point!

DesiColleagueGuy2: All this argument because you don’t make paratheys for your husband every morning? Hahaha

Me: #%^&*)%%^&*(@$%% !!

Either my route to the argument was wrong or those two MCP’s were just not getting it.

What do you think? For centuries, women were treated inferior by men. Things have changed/are changing for the better now..but how did it all start?

Was it physical differences or was there something else to it?

Lunch break conversation in the cafeteria:

—————————————————————-

Me: So, what do you have for breakfast usually?

DesiColleagueGuy1: Parathey

Me: Daily?

DesiColleagueGuy1: Yes, my wife wakes up early and makes them for me everyday.

Me: Wow!!

DesiColleagueGuy2:  Why do you act so shocked? His wife is just being a good  ’Bharatiya Naari’.

Me: What? Why do you label it that? Who set the benchmark for a Bharatiya Naari ?

DesiColleagueGuy2: Now don’t act all non-feminist. I just spoke fact.

Me: Firstly, it is ‘feminist’ without a ”non’. Do you even know what it means?

DesiColleagueGuy2: Whatever..

Me: The ‘Bharatiya Naari’ and its specifications all came from men.

DesiColleagueGuy2: So what?

Me: If women were given a chance they would change the definition of Bharatiya Naari, am sure.

DesiColleagueGuy2: Haha, who stopped them?

Me: Now, don’t get me started man.. .from time immemorial women have been treated inferior by men. Mostly because men are physically stronger.

DesiColleagueGuy1: How can you say that? I think it is more to do with mental  strength and intelligence.

Me: And how is that?

DesiColleagueGuy1: Look, if women had enough mental strength and smartness to break the rules and go ahead, they would have! No man could have stopped them.

Me: You mean women were treated low because they were not as smart as men?

DesiColleagueGuy2: Of course! We even have a saying in my native language which translates to say “smartness of a woman is lesser than the sole of her feet” Hehe.

Me: Wha..???

DesiColleagueGuy1: So, it has all to do with mental abilities ..and why men claimed superiority

Me: Huh? I will never accept women are any lesser than men when it comes to brains. I think it all started with physical differences. Men kept women subdued because  they were the weaker of the sexes, physically. Since the age old days, men were the ones who built countries and formed laws.Women were hardly in picture!

DesiColleagueGuy1: Ah…Why were they not in picture? Because they  were not smart enough.

Me: You don’t get my point!

DesiColleagueGuy2: All this argument because you don’t make paratheys for your husband every morning? Hahaha

Me: #%^&*)%%^&*(@$%%

————————————————–

Either my route to the argument was not strong enough or those two MCP’s were just not getting it.

What do you think?  Bharatiya or not, for centuries, women were treated inferior by men. Things have changed/are changing for the better now..but how did it all start?

Was it physical differences or was there something else to it?

 

Happy Campers!

Imagine a dark night, standing in the middle of a forest, cold breeze making a compelling whisper and there is a sudden hoot heard from a distance…Ok, that was a lame attempt at painting a scary picture. My recent ‘camping in the wilderness’ experience was anything but scary

Humboldt Redwood State Park was the venue .

It was the first time camping, for us as well as for our camping mates (another couple, Pr the husband and Lx the wife.) But tips and pointers from a dozen experienced people did us good. Tents and tools, blankets and buckets, matchbox and masalas – we arrived all prepared..or so we thought.

First thing we did after setting up the tent was to get out the stove and make some hot masala chai.Just when all were patting own backs for a task accomplished, one asked ‘Where’s the strainer?”. Never would anyone realize the dire importance of a tea strainer until you are stuck without one on a cold evening in the middle of the jungle ..and with some smoking hot chai waiting to be filtered and sipped. Arrgh! Anyways, it took only a few minutes before we came up with an alternative – paper towel. It took patient minutes of slow and steady pouring, but it worked! Here is the proof

Me with Pr at a mission

Later in the evening, a leisurely walk in the woods, hand in hand with H was rejuvenating…like untying some knots from the inner being and setting them free.

It was darker and colder soon. The able men of the  21st century took more than 10 minutes to figure out the right way to set up a camp fire before we could finally sit and warm ourselves

An elaborate dinner prep ensued and though it took little more than an hour, our menu read like this -

Grilled corn on the cob with salt, pepper and lemon rubbed on

Grilled and fried potatoes with a good dash of salt and chili powder

Readymade Parathas and paneer palak reheated to perfection

Dahi/yogurt for the sides

Pickles of 3 variety

Cookies for desert

All of the above washed down along a glass of wine..that’s one awesome feeling right there!

 

After a while we retired for the night with a sleeping bag and a book into our tents  and called it a day..a fulfilling day

Night was in fact the toughest part. Three layers of clothing, a fleece blanket under a thick insulation sleeping bag and still it felt cold!

In hardly 30 minutes, we heard Pr calling out for H . It was getting hard to breathe, he said. H tried to keep a calm outlook and asked him to try doing the inhale-exhale deeply. He came out of the tent,  tried exactly that and immediately felt better. The reason for the temporary breathing problem was because his body did not like the enclosed space he was lying in. Pr and H set out in the car looking for a motel to sleep…it was midnight. I lie in my tent, tightly closed eyes, pretending to have fallen asleep in that pitch darkness. Lx was also around, but no help at all. For the kind of condescendingly cold person she is, I am not sure if she was even worried for her husband. No kidding!

The boys returned in some time and complained there was no place to stay around the forest. Duh ?! Finally Pr and Lx moved out  and slept on the comfy reclining seats in the car .

Dawn broke and I woke up to the sounds of woodpeckers busy at work. The morning was a magnificent sight. How often do you open your eyes to something like this?

Those ultra maintained common shower rooms and rest rooms for campers was a blessing. I can live natural..but..err..not having to look for bushes or wide trees to do your daily job..hehe.

Kudos to the H’s planning, we spent the morning playing amidst those pleasant green surroundings. Collecting the Shuttle Cork and Frisbee back when they flew into broken twigs or thorny bushes did not seem like a big deal at all!

After a quick breakfast, we packed our swim suits and set out to a river nearby. While the day was sunny enough for the guys to open up chilled beer cans, the river water gave us shivers. So it was just wetting our feet and posing for some pics..and of course munching on the salt snacks we brought along.

It was lunch time and we soon were back at our camp site lighting our stove. By then it was pretty obvious that Pr is a thoroughly helpful and friendly person while Lx is just the opposite. She just stood there carelessly watching us work, occasionally lifting a random object off the table and asking me ‘ where should I keep this?’. Super Annoying. I sure grumbled in my head ‘ Does this look like my private kitchen? Find your work and be a team member if you can, missy’. 

The drive to the ‘Avenue of Giants’ through the forest roads was so amazing that we had to stop mid way to take it all in. I was acting like a crazy monkey-brand in the middle of the road..too happy to be there, I guess

The rest half of the day was spent trekking in that wilderness- one of the most gorgeous I have ever seen. The narrow mud path among the giant redwoods humbles you. Each one of those trees age back a thousand years…and every single tree releases more then 500 gallons of water into the air, in a single day! ( yeah, yeah..I read the facts).

Now, tell me, does this picture remind you of Jurassic park? I waited to spot a T-Rex too

On the way back to the camp site, the boys made a spontaneous decision and turned the car towards one other popular spot nearby, the Trinidad beach. It was an hour long drive and though hungry and tired by then, we got out of the car for a view like this… and forgot everything else.

Walking down the steps towards the beach, humming a silly song ..

I remember standing still near that rock and heartily thanking God – for making earth so beautiful and putting me in it to savor every bit.

Next day, bidding good bye was hard, but we knew we were not going back empty. 

We had the greenest of memories and the most gratifying of moments to take back home with us….much more than asked for

 

Imagine a dark night, standing in the middle of a forest, cold breeze making a compelling whisper and there is a sudden hoot heard from a distance.Ok, that was a lame attempt at painting a scary picture. My recent ‘camping in the wilderness’ experience was anything but scary

Humboldt Redwood State Park was the venue.( http://www.humboldtredwoods.org/ ).It was the first time camping, for us as well as for our camping mates (another couple, Pb the husband and Lx the wife.) But tips and pointers from a dozen experienced people did us good. Tents and tools, blankets and buckets, matchbox and masalas – we arrived all prepared..or so we thought. First thing we did after setting up the tent was to get out the stove and make some hot masala chai.Just when all were patting own backs for a task accomplished, one asked ‘Where’s the strainer?”. Never would anyone realize the dire importance of a tea strainer until you are stuck without one on a cold evening in the middle of the jungle and with some smoking hot chai smoking waiting to be filtered and sipped. Arrgh! Anyways, it took only a few minutes before we came up with an alternative – paper towel. It took patient minutes of slow and steady pouring, but it worked! Here is the proof

Photo

Later in the evening, a leisurely walk in the woods, hand in hand with H was rejuvenating…like untying some knots from the inner being and setting them free.

Photo

It was darker and colder soon. The able men of the  21st century took more than 10 minutes to figure out the right way to set up a camp fire before we could finally sit and warm ourselves

An elaborate dinner prep ensued and though it took little more than an hour, our menu read like this -

Grilled corn on the cob with salt, pepper and lemon rubbed in

Grilled and fried potatoes with a good dash of salt and chili powder

Readymade Parathas and paneer palak reheated to perfection

Dahi/yogurt for the sides

Pickles of 3 variety

Cookies for desert

All of the above washed down along a glass of wine..that’s one awesome feeling right there!

After a while we retired for the night with a sleeping bag and a book into our tents, we called it a day..fulfilling day

Photo

Night was in fact the toughest part. Three layers of clothing, a fleece blanket under a thick insulation sleeping bag and still it felt cold. I was somehow falling asleep when Pr called out for H and worriedly said he is unable to sleep..or breathe! H tried to keep a calm outlook and asked him to try doing the inhale-exhale deeply. He came out of the tent and tried it and immediately felt better. The reason for the temporary breathing problem was because his body did not like the enclosed space he was lying in. Pr and H set out in the car looking for a motel to sleep…it was midnight. I lie in my tent, tightly closed eyes, pretending to have fallen asleep in that pitch darkness.Lx was also around, but no help at all. For the kind of condescendingly cold kind of person she is, I am not sure if she was even worried for her husband. No kidding!

The boys returned in some time and complained there was no place to stay around the forest. Duh ?! Finally Pr and Lx moved out of tents and slept in the car reclining the comfy seats to the fullest.

Dawn broke and I woke up to the sounds of woodpeckers busy at work, pecking at trees. How often do you open your eyes to something like this?

Photo

Those ultra maintained common shower rooms and rest rooms for campers was a blessing. I can live wild..but..err..not having to look for bushes and wide trees to do your job..hehe.

Kudos to the H’s planning, we spent the morning playing amidst those pleasant green surroundings. Collecting the Shuttle Cork and Frisbee back when they flew into some broken twigs or thorny bushes did not seem like a big deal at all!

After a quick breakfast, we packed up our swim suits and set out to a river nearby. while the day was sunny enough for the guys to open up chilled beer cans, the river water gave us shivers. So it was just wetting our feet and posing for some pics..and of course munching on the salt snacks seated on the sands.

Photo

It was lunch time and we were soon back at our camp site lighting our stove. By then it was pretty obvious that Pr is a thoroughly helpful and friendly person while Lx was just the opposite. She just stood there carelessly watching us work, occasionally lifting a random object off the table and asking me ‘ where should I keep this?’. Super Annoying. I sure grumbled in my head ‘ Does this look like my private kitchen? Find your work and be a team member if you can, missy’. 

The drive to the ‘Avenue of Giants’ through the forest roads was so amazing that we had to stop mid way to take it all in. I was acting like a crazy monkey brand in the middle of the road..too happy to be there, I guess

Photo

The rest half of the day was spent trekking in that wilderness- one of the most gorgeous I have ever seen. The narrow mud path among the giant redwoods humbles you. Each one of those trees age back a thousand years…and every single tree produces more then 500 gallons of water in a single day! ( yeah, yeah..I read the facts).

Now, tell me, does this remind you of Jurassic park? I waited to spot a T-Rex too

Photo

On the way back to the camp site, the boys made a spontaneous decision and turned the car towards one other popular spot nearby. It was an hour long driving distance. Though hungry and tired by then, we go out of the car for a view like this, and forgot everything else.

Photo

Walking down the steps towards the beach, humming a silly song ..

I remember standing still near that rock and heartily thanking God – for making earth so beautiful and putting me in it to savor every bit.

Photo

Next day, bidding good bye was hard, but we knew we were not going back empty. 

We had the greenest of memories and the most gratifying of moments to take back home with us….and that was more than enough

Imagine a dark night, standing in the middle of a forest, cold breeze making a compelling whisper and there is a sudden hoot heard from a distance.Ok, that was a lame attempt at painting a scary picture. My recent ‘camping in the wilderness’ experience was anything but scary

Humboldt Redwood State Park was the venue.( http://www.humboldtredwoods.org/ ).It was the first time camping, for us as well as for our camping mates (another couple, Pb the husband and Lx the wife.) But tips and pointers from a dozen experienced people did us good. Tents and tools, blankets and buckets, matchbox and masalas – we arrived all prepared..or so we thought. First thing we did after setting up the tent was to get out the stove and make some hot masala chai.Just when all were patting own backs for a task accomplished, one asked ‘Where’s the strainer?”. Never would anyone realize the dire importance of a tea strainer until you are stuck without one on a cold evening in the middle of the jungle and with some smoking hot chai smoking waiting to be filtered and sipped. Arrgh! Anyways, it took only a few minutes before we came up with an alternative – paper towel. It took patient minutes of slow and steady pouring, but it worked! Here is the proof

Photo

Later in the evening, a leisurely walk in the woods, hand in hand with H was rejuvenating…like untying some knots from the inner being and setting them free.

Photo

It was darker and colder soon. The able men of the  21st century took more than 10 minutes to figure out the right way to set up a camp fire before we could finally sit and warm ourselves

An elaborate dinner prep ensued and though it took little more than an hour, our menu read like this -

Grilled corn on the cob with salt, pepper and lemon rubbed in

Grilled and fried potatoes with a good dash of salt and chili powder

Readymade Parathas and paneer palak reheated to perfection

Dahi/yogurt for the sides

Pickles of 3 variety

Cookies for desert

All of the above washed down along a glass of wine..that’s one awesome feeling right there!

After a while we retired for the night with a sleeping bag and a book into our tents, we called it a day..fulfilling day

Photo

Night was in fact the toughest part. Three layers of clothing, a fleece blanket under a thick insulation sleeping bag and still it felt cold. I was somehow falling asleep when Pr called out for H and worriedly said he is unable to sleep..or breathe! H tried to keep a calm outlook and asked him to try doing the inhale-exhale deeply. He came out of the tent and tried it and immediately felt better. The reason for the temporary breathing problem was because his body did not like the enclosed space he was lying in. Pr and H set out in the car looking for a motel to sleep…it was midnight. I lie in my tent, tightly closed eyes, pretending to have fallen asleep in that pitch darkness.Lx was also around, but no help at all. For the kind of condescendingly cold kind of person she is, I am not sure if she was even worried for her husband. No kidding!

The boys returned in some time and complained there was no place to stay around the forest. Duh ?! Finally Pr and Lx moved out of tents and slept in the car reclining the comfy seats to the fullest.

Dawn broke and I woke up to the sounds of woodpeckers busy at work, pecking at trees. How often do you open your eyes to something like this?

Photo

Those ultra maintained common shower rooms and rest rooms for campers was a blessing. I can live wild..but..err..not having to look for bushes and wide trees to do your job..hehe.

Kudos to the H’s planning, we spent the morning playing amidst those pleasant green surroundings. Collecting the Shuttle Cork and Frisbee back when they flew into some broken twigs or thorny bushes did not seem like a big deal at all!

After a quick breakfast, we packed up our swim suits and set out to a river nearby. while the day was sunny enough for the guys to open up chilled beer cans, the river water gave us shivers. So it was just wetting our feet and posing for some pics..and of course munching on the salt snacks seated on the sands.

Photo

It was lunch time and we were soon back at our camp site lighting our stove. By then it was pretty obvious that Pr is a thoroughly helpful and friendly person while Lx was just the opposite. She just stood there carelessly watching us work, occasionally lifting a random object off the table and asking me ‘ where should I keep this?’. Super Annoying. I sure grumbled in my head ‘ Does this look like my private kitchen? Find your work and be a team member if you can, missy’. 

The drive to the ‘Avenue of Giants’ through the forest roads was so amazing that we had to stop mid way to take it all in. I was acting like a crazy monkey brand in the middle of the road..too happy to be there, I guess

Photo

The rest half of the day was spent trekking in that wilderness- one of the most gorgeous I have ever seen. The narrow mud path among the giant redwoods humbles you. Each one of those trees age back a thousand years…and every single tree produces more then 500 gallons of water in a single day! ( yeah, yeah..I read the facts).

Now, tell me, does this remind you of Jurassic park? I waited to spot a T-Rex too

Photo

On the way back to the camp site, the boys made a spontaneous decision and turned the car towards one other popular spot nearby. It was an hour long driving distance. Though hungry and tired by then, we go out of the car for a view like this, and forgot everything else.

Photo

Walking down the steps towards the beach, humming a silly song ..

I remember standing still near that rock and heartily thanking God – for making earth so beautiful and putting me in it to savor every bit.

Photo

Next day, bidding good bye was hard, but we knew we were not going back empty. 

We had the greenest of memories and the most gratifying of moments to take back home with us….and that was more than enough

 

Watching TV is all I do!

It is a lazy Sunday noon and she is browsing through the channels on TV. She soon finds something interesting and starts watching it .

He comes by and sees his wife busy staring at the idiot box and says “Am going out to finish some errands. See you in a while.”

She mumbles a soft “Okay dear, Bye, Drive safe” and continues to do what she was doing.

After about 15 minutes, she switches off the TV, gets up and ties up her hair into a ponytail.

The laundry bags are full, she carries them out to the washing machines, loads and let that run.

She collects the filled up trash bags from the kitchen and then the bathroom, walks out to the main trash area and disposes them.

The sink in the kitchen is half full with dirty dishes, she clears it into the dishwasher. A bunch of vessels are greasy and she patiently scrubs and rinses them to look shiny again.

She remembers there was a raw green mango in the fridge and prepares a spicy chutney out of it. She is happy with the result and decides to pack it for their lunch next day with some Idlis.

‘The laundry must be done’, she thinks and goes out to collect it. On the way she notices that the shoe rack is untidy. All that is set right in a few minutes.

She comes back with fresh smelling clean laundry and carefully folds the big load of clothes one by one. Shirts, trousers, skirts, tops , undies and socks all go to their respective shelves in the cupboard.

The plants in the patio look thirsty and she lovingly pours some water for them to liven up again.

By now, she feels thirsty herself and makes two cups of tea with cardamom and ginger. Just the way her husband likes it. She keeps one aside for him and slowly sips hers.

She casually picks up the remote and rests her tired back on the couch and browses through the TV channels.

She soon finds something interesting and starts watching it .

He comes in and sees his wife busy staring at the idiot box and says “You sit in front of the TV all day. Why not get up and do something?”

She throws a puzzled look at him ..  ”Huh?!!!!!!!!”

 

Yes, that’s another example of how my work goes royally unnoticed every single time. I just sit and watch TV all day, you see.

Iis a lazy Sunday noon and she is browsing through the channels on TV. She soon finds something interesting and starts watching it .

He comes by and sees his wife busy watching the idiot box and says “Am going out to finish some errands. See you in a while.”

She mumbles a soft “Okay dear, Bye, Drive safe” and continues to do what she was doing.

After about 15 minutes, she switches off the TV, gets up and ties up her hair into a ponytail.

The laundry bags are full, she carries them out to the washing machines, loads and let that run.

She collects the filled up trash bags from the kitchen and then the bathroom, walks out to the main trash area and disposes them.

The sink in the kitchen is half full with dirty dishes, she clears it into the dishwasher. A bunch of vessels are greasy and she patiently scrubs and rinses them to look shiny again.

She remembers there was a raw green mango in the fridge and prepares a spicy chutney out of it. She is happy with the result and decides to pack it for their lunch next day with some Idlis.

‘The laundry must be done’, she thinks and goes out to collect it. On the way she notices that the shoe rack is untidy. All that is set right in a few minutes.

She comes back with fresh smelling clean laundry and carefully folds the big load of clothes one by one. Shirts, trousers, skirts, tops , undies and socks all go to their respective shelves in the cupboard.

The plants in the patio look thirsty and she lovingly pours some water for them to liven up again.

By now, she feels thirsty herself and makes two cups of tea with cardamom and ginger. Just the way her husband likes it. She keeps one aside for him and slowly sips hers.

She casually picks up the remote and rests her tired back on the couch and browses through the TV channels.

She soon finds something interesting and starts watching it .

He comes in and sees his wife busy watching the idiot box and says “You sit in front of the TV all day. Why not get up and do something?”

!!!!!!!!

Yes, that’s another example of how my work goes royally unnoticed every time. I just sit and watch TV all the time, you see. 

 

What a Translation !!

 

I literally rolled on the floor laughing this morning, thanks to this silly forward from a friend.

Here, take a look and you’ll roll down there too

[ P.S : Those of you who are 'Hindi Challenged', sorry! ]

—————–

How do you do?

* Kaise karte ho? 

Keep in touch!

* Chhoote Raho. 

Lets hang out!

* Chalo bahar latakte hain ! 

Have a nice day!

* Achcha din lo! 

What’s up?

* Uppar kya hai? 

Yo, baby! What’s up?

* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai? 

She’s so fine!

* Woh itnee baareek hai! 

Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay!?

* Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek? 

Cool man!

* Thandaa aadmi! 

Check this out, man!

* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi! 

Hey good looking; what’s cooking?

* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho? 

Are you nuts?

* Kya aap akhrot hain? 

Son of a gun.

* Bachcha bandook ka. 

Rock the party.

* Party mein patthar pheko. 

Don’t mess with me, dude..

* Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

You’re kidding!

* Tum bachcha bana rahe ho! 

Don’t kid me!

* Mera bachcha mat banaao!

—————–

I literally rolled on the floor laughing this morning, thanks to this silly forward from a friend. Here, take a look and you’ll roll down there too

 P.S : Those of you who are ‘Hindi Challenged’, sorry! 

—————–

How do you do?

* Kaise karte ho? 

 

Keep in touch!

* Chhoote Raho. 

 

Lets hang out!

* Chalo bahar latakte hain ! 

 

Have a nice day!

* Achcha din lo! 

 

What’s up?

* Uppar kya hai? 

 

Yo, baby! What’s up?

* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai? 

 

She’s so fine!

* Woh itnee baareek hai! 

 

Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay!?

* Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek? 

 

Cool man!

* Thandaa aadmi! 

 

Check this out, man!

* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi! 

 

Hey good looking; what’s cooking?

* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho? 

 

Are you nuts?

* Kya aap akhrot hain? 

 

Son of a gun.

* Bachcha bandook ka. 

 

Rock the party.

* Party mein patthar pheko. 

 

Don’t mess with me, dude..

* Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

 

You’re kidding!

* Tum bachcha bana rahe ho! 

 

Don’t kid me!

* Mera bachcha mat banaao!

—————–

 

Just a little annoying :)

Last Friday was the first time I went pub hopping, got super sloshed (over 3 glasses of wine and a margarita) and stepped into that fuzzy  world of happy giggling-over-nothing and stupid non-stop-talking. But, know what? In spite of the madness, I was perfectly conscious of what I was talking or doing..err.just that I wasn’t able to stop. H saved himself for the drive back, as soon as he saw me going overboard. (I am proud of you my dear )

Anyway, When we finally made it home at 3 AM next day, I remember H walking me back to the house totally ignoring my clever suggestions to spend the night in the car because it was warm there..and walking to the house was cold.

It took only a couple of minutes inside the house when I realized the fuzzy happiness was all churning inside and demanded to come out immediately. I made a quick run to the bathroom to let it all out into the sink ( Yuckk! That one was a first time too..not really proud of it). Reality had still not hit but I couldn’t stand the mess and started cleaning up. Though H tried, he wasn’t able to lure me to go and sleep! I crashed only when I had done my cleaning job as best as I could in that drunken state

That much of a prelude to come to this point – Waking up to an unclean sink in the morning is not my only pet peeve. There is quite a list. Take a look

- Have to be reading something as I do my ‘long business’ in the restroom. If nothing, I should read at least the labels and ingredients on the shampoo bottle lying nearby.

- Need to have the bathtub absolutely free of any hair residuals. I will end up taking shower with closed eyes if its not my house and I can’t clean that tub.

- It is absolutely necessary that I delete any spam message on my personal email accounts as soon as I see it, that instant. Ditto with the server notification emails on my office account.

- Sleep on the right side of the bed always. H can crib or cry, he is not having that side. Sorry honey!

- The bedroom door has to closed when I go to bed. Doesn’t matter if its only me and H in the whole house and the front door is locked.

- Once you step out of the house, coming back to get anything forgotten, brings bad luck. So, sit down, at least for a microsecond before going out again. Amma used to say that and follow sincerely. I find that reasoning funny, but can’t stop doing it anyways!

- Unless there are any kids playing and dragging things around, the living room should have every single piece of furniture in its allotted place. If H needs to get me all worked up, he just needs to shift the chairs a little or move the table a bit out of angle..and watch the fun.

- Kitchen needs to be totally under my control, when I cook. You take over and do the full job if you like. But, please don’t offer help. I might not sound exactly polite when I say “Stop! I’ll manage on my own. Thanks.”

- All doors on the kitchen cabinet need to remain closed while not in use. Leaving them partially open, for any reason, just won’t do at all.

- Pray for at least a few minutes everyday and make sure that includes wishing for happiness and peace for everyone in the world. God might otherwise assume I am really selfish to ask favors for me and my people only no?

 

Your turn now. Leave a comment or take this up as a tag. Tell me your list of pet peeves.

Oh, come on now, everyone has some of it right?…..right?    

* looks worried when there’s no answer *

 

Lost..

I am bleeding my baby into a sanitary pad..as I type..

It does not seem to stop.

But my tears have stopped. I am unable to cry anymore.

My eyes hurt..and so does the tummy..empty now.

They said it was nature’s way of getting rid of an imperfect conception. They said it’s not uncommon.They said I will be alright soon.They said all happens for good.

I hear them, but nothing makes sense.

All of you wonderful people who wished me well, I am so thankful to every one of you.

I am sorry…sorry that it ended like this..sorry that I could not help it..sorry that I was too happy too soon..sorry that I lost something even before having it..

 

Where are you hiding Baby?

My dearest little Baby,

Mamma is very much worried over you. She has been having small drops of blood spotting recently and went to the doc for an ultrasound yesterday. She wanted to make sure you are okay inside and developing fine.

On the computer screen, that image showed a small coin shaped sac..your sac. But, the image did not show you. I am sure you were somewhere there, but neither me nor the doctor or your dadda could find you in there.

Where were you hiding baby?

The doctor finally said it is too early and that you were way too tiny to show up on the image. She also said, it’s either that or …or you might have left me without informing.

I know that cannot happen. I know you cannot just leave like that. I know you won’t. ..will you?

Mamma is very scared for you baby…and worries for you every single waking minute. Your dadda has been really supportive though. He keeps talking nice things to calm me down and assures me that all is going to be well. He thinks that I need to be optimistic and have positive thoughts, especially for your good. I agree with him and love him for that, but the worry doesn’t seem to leave me easily.

I have been asked to come for another ultrasound in 2 weeks, to see if you show up in that sac..to see if you were just hiding.

So, hear me out dear baby. Don’t scare mamma. Don’t hide, don’t be shy. Show up bright and glowing on that image on the computer screen next time. Okay?

In love with you already,
Your Mamma

———————

P.S : Dear friends out there..please keep us in your positive thoughts and well wishes. I need them very badly.

 

Drumroll Please….!

Last Friday, the 3rd of April, 2009 at around 8:30 in the morning, the Digital Test Stick I peed on, showed me this :

Yes, Yes, That’s right people!

I AM PREGNANT!

I can’t seem to stop saying and thinking of that moment ever since!

The blood test from the doctor’s lab showed up with a ‘POSITIVE’ soon after.

So, its official…I have a tiny little life happening inside me right this moment, as I type!
Uh…I so can’t believe it yet..really. I have been just constantly reminding myself and feeling overwhelmingly happy every single time

Now, here is the story, if you want to know:

It all started in April 2008 when my craving to have a baby took over and I seriously started thinking of having one.We both were within our reproductive age limits, we were married for more than 3 years and spent all that time together doing every single thing we loved to do – travelling being the most favorite.

From Himalayas to Kerala/Kanyakumari in India; from Newyork to California in the US, we had done all the travelling we could.To top it all, our biggest travel wish – Touring across Europe, was coming true in a few days. The tickets were ready, bags packed and the spirits high.

I discussed my mind with H and finally asked “Why not make a baby in Switzerland, while we are there?”. He was taken aback at first, to see I had thought through it so much. But, as expected from any husbands (??), he threw my request out the window saying, “Do you even realize how big that thought is? Not a joke, babe. We are all set for our BIG trip in a few days. Don’t get me all worried over this now. Let’s just have fun, okay?”

I brought it up at least 2 more times during the trip, one time being ..err..right during the ‘moment’ on our soft cozy bed in our hotel room while in Switzerland. He used the condom anyways. Sigh!.

It took me 5 months to slowly and scrupulously make him think in my terms. One evening when his cousin/best friend announced their ‘good news’, he cheered for them heartily. But, I could see he was deep in thoughts that night. He was taking his time to get there.

A couple of days later, over a cup of tea, I asked “We should plan some exciting trip next. It’s been a while since the last one, na?”
And, he said ” No more long distance travel for sometime now.”

“And, why so? ” I questioned.

“Because, you need to take good care of yourself babe. We want to have a baby right?”

I smiled. He had finally gotten there

Starting that day, I hit Google with a thousand queries everyday – ‘trying to conceive’, ‘most fertile days’, ‘ovulation calendar’, ‘ dos and don’ts for couples trying to conceive’…and many many more. I devoured all info on every article and every forum I chanced upon.

With enough online knowledge up our sleeves, we set out on making a baby that month ( hehe, loved saying that). It was September 2008.

The process is so much fun, its orgasmic! Okay, that was a poor joke. But, we did enjoy it every bit From kinky clothes to candle light..from sweet talk to rough fights, I think we got pretty innovate with things. Moreover, you got to get a little creative when you need to have sex every single day for weeks , Don’t cha?

However, with every passing month, when my ‘Aunt Flow’ kept coming right at the precise date, we got bit worried. Once we completed 6 months of trying with no success, I took an appointment with my gynaec. She almost laughed and said it was too early for us to get worried. On an average only 80% of the ‘normal couples’ conceive in the first year of trying. And since I am well within the 30 year age limit, I should not even bother about the results until at least one year. She sent us home with a pat on the back and cheering ” Just have fun, no worries!”

In a couple of weeks, our India trip happened, as planned. During the one month there, I didn’t think our ‘efforts’ would be fruitful. A baby that could not be made in 6 months in a place with a perfect lifestyle, healthy diet, clean air and pure water, how would you expect to make it in 1 month in a place where every single day is insanely hectic, roads horribly polluted and overcrowded?

But hey, miracles do happen

May be it was Amma’s hand cooked meals, maybe the joy and content you feel while in presence of your family , maybe all the good vibes from visiting temples, maybe the good wishes from the loved ones or maybe just the combination of all these and more! This baby is definitely ‘Made in India’

I am five and a half weeks now. Too early to tell out the news? Hell, who cares. I am super excited and want to share it with you all anyway!

We broke the news to our parents together, on a video conference the other day. Words can’t describe how happy they were. My mom almost hugged the video camera

I have no symptoms (nausea, back pain or any such thing *Touch wood* ). But for the occasional craving to eat something tangy, I hardly feel pregnant!

Pray for me a little, you guys. Pray that this tiny life inside me stays put for the entire 9 months and makes it safely to this beautiful world, healthy and happy.

[Note: Have uploaded pics from the India trip on the post below, as promised.]

 

Me back :)

Feels good to be back!..back to the calm and normalcy of living.

I say that because of those super eventful 4 weeks spent in India.
Every single day was planned to its very minute – Where to go, whom to visit, what to do, how to commute. Phew!

The First 10 days in H’s place were really tight packed with activities, to say the least.Two family functions, the preparations, the trips to meet half a dozen uncles and aunts and of course the overwhelming amount of shopping.

Given the summer heat in Chennai, I am glad we survived the entire thing to be back safe

On the other hand, the opportunities to show off my colorful ethnic wears, the delicious spicy food ( which we devoured like hungry pigs), the heart warming good wishes and blessings we received from so many elders during the functions – made up for it.

The next one week spent at my home was the best part of the entire trip. Duh! That’s expected of you to say, you say? Well, not just me, H agrees to that too. Hmmm..Glancing back at that one week, the most I recall is -

Eating 

Lots and lots of chatting with Amma

Eating

Running around clicking pictures and smelling flowers in my garden

Eating

Silly arguments with Appa

Eating

Irritating poor bro trying hard to agitate him ( how does he remain so calm with a character like me??)

Eating

Visiting cousins, uncles and aunts nearby

Eating

Playing in the gushing river waters ( absolutely loved it!)

Eating

Shopping in the little old stores for insignificant things

And..

Eating, of course.

Amma took the week off to cook all my favorite dishes..and she delivered it like a mission! Breakfast- Lunch- Snacks- Dinner. Breakfast- Lunch- Snacks- Dinner. Repeat. Nothing I said/did could stop her anyways. Thanks Amma, You are the Bestest!!

The last few days in Bangalore were super hectic, but fun all the while. Met at least a dozen bunch of friends for lunch or dinner. There was lots of chatting up and laughing. Bangalore still remains my favorite city, but could have done without that killing traffic jams and dust. Arrrgh! Everybody who talks of Bangalore plays this same old tune these days, no? When will the stupid government wake up from the slumber??

All plans well executed and a happy trip overall, I should say.

But, yes, feels good to be back. Known usualness and mental calm is much deserved sometimes

Edited to Add: Some pics from the trip, as promised :

The blossoming flowers on the White Jambu I planted in my Garden, while in school

My new little furry friend at an uncle's place.

Tenderly young Cashews in Uncle's plantation

Anthorium imparts a message of love..look carefully

Cocoa tree with pods at an aunt's place. These are where our chocolates come from!

A visit to Payaswini river with my aunt. What good times!

Wild cherries..spent much time collecting them.They are unbelievably sweet!