Rendezvous with my self..

When I signed up for a ‘Basic Check Up and Test’ with my gynecologist, I hardly expected anything more than a height-weight-BP kind of regular test.

Man, was I wrong or what?

This thing called ‘Pap Smear Test’ was part of it all ..and that came as a surprise..err..shock.

Yes, I know why it is done and why it is important. But..But, all that was for ‘others’, not me. No ?!?

Once inside the physicians suite, the totally unsuspecting me was asked by an assistant to strip naked. Yeah, okay, alright , she didn’t use those exact words. But, it still meant the same!

I reiterated her words and said “Remove everything? You mean EVERYTHING??”

She could not miss that shock on my face and smiled “Yes. Everything please.”

To make matters worse, my very supportive ( prefix this with a least or never) hubby was standing next to me…struggling to control his laugh at my pathetic situation.

Thank god, I was atleast given this ‘paper suit’ ( What do we call a huge sheet of paper that has a hole in the center to pull over your head and a string to tie the sheet around, to cover yourself up in vain?)

The doctor entered the room and I was for once thankful that she looked very professional and spoke warmly.

I was getting a little comfortable answering her basic questions while finally managing to hold the paper sheet around me to safely cover all ‘important’ areas, while still wondering . Suddenly, out of nowhere, the doc said “Remove the top of the sheet. I need to check your breasts.”

“Wha..what?”

” I need to carry out some simple steps to check for lumps in your breasts” she replied as calmly as she would ask me to pass on the salt and pepper shaker on the dining table.

“Doc..doctor..I don’t ..don’t have any lumps” I could hear myself stammer.

” Let me check.”

I did as told and lied on the table, half naked.

” It is just a medical checkup. This is a lady doctor. She is a nice lady, a motherly figure. Nothing to feel awkward about..Calm down” – I kept repeating this to myself in a fast-forward loop mode while she was checking my ‘upstairs’.

During all this, it took me 10 times the patience to stop myself from hitting the hubby on his head. He was standing right next to me with that vicious grin on the face which threatened to break into a loud laughter if provoked further. I mean..I was trying hard to keep a straight face myself. He could have been pretending serious atleast

I lay there acting numb while she moved her fingers and slowly massaged around my breasts..looking for lumps.

“You are clear here.” she said, finally.

“Phew ! Ok. Great.Hehehe.” I smiled stupidly and hurried to get down and grab my clothes.

“No, no, no. Don’t rush! You are not done yet. Lie down a little lower and spread your legs on this support.” she said and sat on the chair right at the end of the table where my legs were supposed to be ’spread’.

I got seriously worried. It is somehow manageable if she goes to my ‘upstairs’..but she wants to get to my ‘downstairs’ too now?!!!

I could not face her and turned to look at the hubby expecting some (tiny little bit) of help/ support in this wierd situation. I got nothing but a stupid grin.

“Ahmm…Could I skip this test?” I attempted a final get-away plan.

“This is the last test and will hardly take 2 minutes. It is important that you get your cervix tested for cervical cancer.” She was pretty blunt.

I felt like a helpless little sheep being shaved naked and then taken to the butcher’s place…

I lied down and took a deep breath.

“Come little lower..yes, little more..little more. Okay. Good” she kept instructing until I was way down balancing my body over a small area above my butt! The rest of it all was protruding out of the table’s end anyway.

“Just push a little from inside your gut.” she said while pulling out a big steel instrument.

I retracted and sat up to ask ” Will you put THAT WHOLE THING inside??”

I was getting difficult, I guess. She sighed and said “Yes. But, don’t worry.”

Don’t worry?? A steel instrument is getting down my vagina, for gods sake..and I am not even sedated ! Dear God, what has the world come to?!

I closed my eyes tight and let her do the job.

The steel got inside and acted as if it was looking for some lost relative in there somewhere. Holding the table sides with a death grip did not help..nor did my cringing.

The steel thingy finally came out and in went something else ! This time, I could not even see what went inside me. That’s nothing but a sorry state to be in…believe me.

Okay. Okay. Just a few seconds more. Relax. Take a deep breath – I kept repeating in my head.

The ’something else’ seemed to do much more than looking for a lost relative. Actually it was deep and a bit painful too. For a person who is already famous as a drama queen – how dare I complain ?! I just held the table sides tighter and cringed harder.

A few dozen seconds more.. I managed to steal a glance at the hubby who looked back at me with the same old grin and then patted my hands to comfort.
Hmm. Not bad. He can atleast act to look concerned

After those loooong drawn 2 minutes, I finally got down the table and grabbed my clothes.

To be honest, I felt wet ‘downstairs’ when I got on my feet.
I surely didn’t piss (WTF!). It must be the other fluid.

Was that some fluid she used for her test or did I embarrass myself by dripping wet ??

Oh ! no, no.. don’t..don’t answer that.

My test results arrive in a week and it better be good.
It does owe me that much for what I went through !

Right?!

As far as professional roles go, I have, no doubt, been lucky so far.
Five years in the field is not a big deal and not so much of an experience either, I know.But, I have had 4 different managers till date, owing to various circumstances, not necessarily job change.

The first one was my mentor, the ever-so-nice-and-patient M, who was so brilliant that the entire company relied on his shoulders..well, almost. I have fonder memories of my first job than many, all thanks to M.

In the next company, there were the other two – both extremely professional and hard core perfectionists. They were mostly polite and good people, if not consistently.

Currently, K is my manager. She is the combination of all good things I saw in the earlier ones and some more..

In the last 1.5 years of working under her, I have never once seen her angry or even irritated. That smile seems genuine and never seems to leave her face. More than 4 projects at a time is not a simple task to manage, added the fact that she is a mother of two little kids aged 2 and 4! All the deadlines, time tracking and never-ending meeting schedules can be mind boggling. With just 30% of her workload, I get all ‘Arrrrrrgh!’ sometimes. But, never seen her cringe atall. The others in my team who report to her can vouch that they have never seen that either !

“K, I think we have a problem !!!” – I panic sometimes when things goes wrong.

“Oh, that’s Okay. If you do this and then do that, it should be all good. I remember being in that situation few years back. I panicked too. But, that’s not worth it. Relax” she says calmly and smiles.

“K, Just updating you about this task. It’s completed.”- I say about a small business that I took care.

“Great! Am so thankful you are around!” she says with a true thanks in her eyes, making me feel important, yet another time.

“K, Could I leave early today?. I have a doctor’s appointment. My cold hasn’t left me in a week” – I say.

“Sure. Take good care. Try the XYZ tablet. Works like magic. You could also take the ABC syrup to boost immunity” – She has concern in her voice and really wants to help.

I am not actually exaggerating when I say K is goodness personified.
Heck, I don’t even get any stupid little thing to comment about my manager, when everyone else seems to have loads to crib and complain about theirs.

For the info, K is an American by origin and has been in the US of A all her life.

Few weeks back, her mom was diagnosed with liver cancer. Worst part- her mom does not believe in modern medicine and is sticking to her holistic approach – of meditation and fasting ! ( An American prefers holistic approach to cure cancer! Can you believe that?!)

K and her family have been worried and are struggling to convince her for chemotherapy. She has, however, been stubborn and holding on to her beliefs in spite of the deteriorating health.

K is mostly working from home these days, preferring to stay with her mom more than ever. In spite of these strenuous situations, K is still the same.. no bickering, no complaints. However, I do notice the subtle shade of worry on her face when she tries to pull up a smile.

Hearty prayers for the recovery and good health of that mother who raised a daughter so beautiful – both inward and out.

Good things happen to good people, I have heard.
So be it, please !