Rendezvous with my self..

For the uninitiated, this is the sequel to my last post about the semi-naked, drunk girl friend on chat

After some thinking and after much reading the comments on the previous post, I  decided to let my satanic part win this time . Well, I had some good intentions in letting her know too.

See it yourself on the email I wrote to her :

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How’s you doing? Hope all is well.

We had a long chat on Monday night (your time) and you sounded..err..weird

It was quite obvious you were slosh drunk then. Not sure if you remember now, but  do check the chat archive logs.

A couple of things -

If it was indeed you who typed all that, then seriously avoid coming on  chat/phone/email while drunk. There might be wrong people out there to misuse a  situation and that might be kind of dangerous. You know what I mean, yeah?

If it was not you who typed on chat that day , then make sure your account was not  hacked and used by somebody else. That thought it damn creepy!

Take care.

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I received a hasty little response from her the same day that said :

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I am fine. Very Sorry.. I shouldn’t have come online when I was drunk.

I just checked the chat archives..

Want to talk to you. Will catch you online without the booze this time

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The next day she popped up on the chat as soon as I logged in, as if she had been waiting!

Her name on chat involuntarily shot up a big red warning sign in my head. Thankfully, she was sane and sober this time.

Embarrassed apologies ensued, later followed by profuse requests not to divulge any of  what-took-place-that-night to her people, especially the husband!

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Her: I did all of it without the husband knowing. He still doesn’t have a clue. Let this remain between just the two of us, please.

Me: Sure, don’t worry. But, why didn’t you tell the husband?

Her: What should I tell? You tell me.

Me: You could say you had a couple of drinks..bit too much to handle and not mention about other things. To keep him informed, I guess.

Her: Hmm..I just had one glass you know?

Me: Haha! No way! That’s too less to get intoxicated

Her: Really!

Me: One glass of wine = Just half of the glass from the rim.

Her: I had a full glass … or was it a full bottle..oh, can’t recall.

Me: That’s all right. Forget it.

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At this point I actually started feeling sorry for her situation. So, a quick  change of topic had us talking a bit of work, a little of family and a lot of the good old school days !

Finally, it all ended nice..with smiles lingering afterwards:

She: Am really happy now that I have spoken to you about it..phew!

Me: Ditto here .

She: Good Night, Sleep tight

Me: May the Bed Bugs not bite

Yesterday, finally, the jealousy died. Just like that, it went away. It is since been replaced by a smug smirk

Me: Ok, Good night, Sleep tight and may the bed bugs not bite. Nice catching up  with you today.

She: You are making Me hot

She: He is out. So how about you?

Me: * Gulp.What’s wrong with her?*  Not really , especially when you are in office  working on some boring stuff. But, looks like you are! Time to call up your guy, I  guess.

She: Oh, its all because of …….the mood

Me: Sorry, am in office and got loads of things to finish. Monday today na  * You better end it here miss or be prepared to be shit embarrassed tomorrow when you are sober *

She: I didn’t know when to stop drinking..but, it’s really made me hot

She: Hmm..I am going to be on bed for some time and enjoy, ok

She: Tell na Good night

I know her from kindergarten. We went to the same school and then the same pre-university college. We were friends, not thick buddies, not great pals..just friends.

Tall, beautiful, athletic, talented – She was all this bundled up in a strong charming persona everyone seemed to admire. I did too, but not in the same light. I secretly envied her for all she was. Not that I was lesser, but just because I could not be her!

We parted ways soon after college and went on with our lives. I lost touch with  her, as with many from school until we bumped each other on a networking site  sometime back. She was married and was living a good life. I went through her  pictures and realized that I don’t feel the envious pangs anymore…but it had not died down either.

Yesterday, finally, the jealousy died. Just like that, it went away. It has since been replaced by a smug smirk

Want to know how?

Out of the blue, she pinged me on chat yesterday. I was surprised since that was least expected. Not just because it was late at night in India. We were neither close enough nor bothered to check on each other by any means, anytime before that.

She started with a casual ‘Hi, Are you there?’ and I responded. It was all normal conversation for a few minutes. But, what followed later, totally took me aback! While I am still shaking my head in disbelief, the chat log tells me it did really happen.

Here are the excerpts from the chat for you. You will know why I am holding back a chuckle and smiling a vicious smile now.

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She: Ok..going to sleep now

Me: Ok, Good night, Sleep tight and may the bed bugs not bite. Nice catching up  with you today.

She: You are making Me hot

Me: haha!!  :D   * ‘hehe..what??*

She: But me alone na

Me: oh..why so? where’s hubby?

She: He is out. So how about you?

Me: Its 12 noon on Monday and am at office now..

She: You in mood?

Me: * Gulp.What’s wrong with her?* Not really , especially when you are in office  working on some boring stuff. But, looks like you are! Time to call up your guy, I  guess.

She: Will call him later. Do u know what dress I am in?

Me: * My tubelight brain just lighted up!* Hey, one question..

She: Yes

Me: You been drinking?

She: No..yes..I mean not yet. Why?

Me: You sound different than I used to know..

She: Oh, its all because of …….the mood

Me: Ok, I get it  *time to run away!*

She: what did you get?

Me: Chalo, will get back to working now, you get some sleep or maybe talk to your  guy.Take care, bye now

She: mmm..so you are going??

Me: Sorry, am in office and got loads of things to finish. Monday today na    * You better end it here miss or be prepared to be shit embarrassed tomorrow when you are sober *

She: Yes, Monday night for me…Ok, I had some wine.. nothing to hide..makes me feel gooooood.You know, I am just in my bra and panty.

Me: * OMG! Help!* Wine is fine, I have it occasionally too. But I think you have had too much of it ..go sleep now, ok? I have gottu get back to work, really.

She: I didn’t know when to stop drinking..but, it’s really made me hot

Me: * Uff!! You really need help girl * Hmm.I think you should drink only when  there are friends or people with you girl….getting drunk alone like this is not fun.

She: I was with my colleagues…As soon as I got home I removed all my clothes except bra and panty you know?

Me: * Gosh, this is getting freaky! * Hmm.. Take a nice shower then.

She: I feel so horny, not sure why..

Me: All the wine you had is acting up. Go take a shower and drink lots of  water..will make you feel better. * Phew! I am tired trying to put some sense here  *

She: Hmm..I am going to be on bed for some time and enjoy, ok

Me: Go ahead, but I need to leave now. Bye  * Run for your life! *

She: ok..catch you later..Good night

Me: ..

She: Tell na.. Good night

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Not sure if she even remembered this chat when she woke up next day.

I have two options:

Leave her a line asking to check her chat log and imagine her going red with embarrassment.

OR

Act all zen by pretending nothing ever happened and move on.

The bad jealous part of me votes for the former, while the angelic halo part of me chooses the latter.

What do you say?

A high spirited, chirpy new friend of mine tagged me quite some time back.

Quoting the clichéd ‘better late than never’, here is the list of my domestic horrors:

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I am this just-married brand new bride who does not know the in-law’s language and hence communicates with them mostly in English or sign language.  It is only a couple of days with the in-laws and the MIL switches over from English to her native language (Tamil) without any warning! I smile or nod stupidly at everything she says, with no clue about the meaning whatsoever

One fine morning I am seated in the living room with the newspaper when MIL walks by saying something in Tamil. I nod with a smile, as usual, before getting back to the newspaper.

In a few minutes, I smell something burning. But, I had no reason to worry – MIL was in charge of the kitchen anyway, I thought. The smell just kept getting worse and I opened the windows and doors to drive it out. Finally, when there was no sign of the stink subsiding, I entered the kitchen to find NOBODY there, but a vessel full of milk boiling and spilling out into the flames !!

Apparently, the MIL had told me in her PUREST form of Tamil that she was going out for a while and there is milk boiling on the stove. Bah! I was embarrassed to bits when FIL and my other half laughed hard at my horror stricken face.

But, heaven knows I wanted to shout at the MIL and say- “You could have cut some slack and told it in English for this poor Non-Tamil soul here, no??!”

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Me and H moved into our first little rented house in Bangalore a little after the wedding and set up a ‘home’ together. After recovering from the initial shock to learn that I am in charge of the kitchen all by myself with no help, I got to serious business. From cooking rice to making sambhar and curry – H yielded ( had no other way, I guess) to be the guinea pig for my culinary experiments Some misses and some hits, but I grew more confident by the day.

One morning, when H was away in office, I was frying some veggies but got distracted and went away to the other room, only to come back and find all my hard work turned to black charcoal in the pan.I couldn’t take that kind of insult on my attempts (ahem), picked up the purse and walked out to a nearest restaurant.

I came back home with a big styrofoam box full of hot spicy curry, nicely transferred it into a fresh vessel, stirred it with a spoon and covered with a lid. H came home for lunch those days because I was not yet working then. Plus, he loved the yummy home made food his new wife made ( or so I like to believe). No doubt, the ’special curry’ received much compliments and I was praised to no end…he thought I had finally got there! ( where?)

Only a couple of years later, when I had indeed mastered most of his favorite dishes did I let him into the truth of the special curry he enjoyed so much one day and wondered why I did not make it that way ever again !

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I was working on a project assignment and moved to the US for the first time, alone. I was put up in a company provided fully furnished apartment. It had a beautiful kitchen with all amenities – Fridge and Oven to vessels and spoons, you name it. I mostly cooked, but ordered in on lazy days. The leftover pizza that I ordered on one of those days was packed in a silver foil and kept aside for dinner. At night, I promptly picked it up , with the silver foil et all , put it in the microwave and pressed ‘Start’.

It took only a few seconds before fumes started emerging out wickedly. I was too nervous to even get closer and switch off. But, thankfully, it switched off on its own soon… after a loud explosion creating a big hole  on the microwave door

My company was too kind and paid the damage costs while the apartment people left me with a warning only.Why? Maybe because the whole thing did not involve a fire engine and police knocking on their doors. Hehehe.

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Cannot think of any major horror story since then. Oh, that translates to “I have now become so much responsible and cautious and superb at all I do in the kitchen ..I am simply – awesomely – fantastically GREAT!”

Ok, not exactly that..but something like that

What’s your part of the horror story?