A Big Fat Complaint

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Scenario 1:

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“You look so fat! Almost ill ! Oh, look at your face !!Tch, Tch. What’s going on?”

Would this be an acceptable line coming from a friend, even though she is close to you and your family, especially when the words come at you as you just open the door , smile and welcome her into your home ?

Am sure none of us think  this is acceptable.  It is downright rude to speak so bluntly about someone’s weight gain or the way they are carrying it on their face, especially when you first see them.

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Scenario 2:

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The exact same as above, but just replace the word ‘fat’ -

“You look so thin! Almost ill ! Oh, look at your face !!Tch, Tch. What’s going on?”

Now, does it sound more acceptable? Probably..yes?

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Many people I know seem to think so. And, they use it liberally on me. Not just when I open the door to welcome them home , but anywhere and everywhere else possible.

Why does society think it is okay to throw the thin/skinny word around and comment any way they like? The person on the receiving end has lesser feelings?

Why is it the norm to be nice and polite about one’s weight gain, but outright harsh when it comes about one’s weight loss?  Why the double standards?

To anyone who throws the thin/skinny/ill word at me, especially as the first thing when I meet you :

I have had enough and I am not offering any more explanations! I look the way I do and I am perfectly fine with it. I may or may not be feeling ill, but that’s none of your business since you cannot even greet without exclaiming about the weight. Thank you for your unsolicited concern, but I’m geared up for a different reaction this time. You will either receive dead silence that will embarrass the sh** out of you  OR royally hear back open comments about your humongous butt. Either one depending on my mood.

BEWARE.

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4 Responses to A Big Fat Complaint

  1. Pepper says:

    Sigh. I hear you, sistah! Had written about exactly this insensitivity some years ago. Here it is: https://pepperedthoughts.wordpress.com/2011/02/23/my-body-not-your-business/

    The thing is, most people say fat people also have to hear a lot of insensitive comments like “Oh God! You’ve put on so much weight! / You’ve become so fat” But I still think it isn’t as bad and direct as it is for the skinny folks.

    I do think people are more watchful of their words while talking to people who’re overweight. Their criticism is atleast masked most of the time. Somehow, skinny people don’t get the same courtesy.

    Perhaps because in our current society, being fat is more disrespectful than being thin is? So people who pass these ruthless comments believe thin people don’t warrant the same sensitivity.

    I wish people simply stop commenting on other people’s weight! Whether they find others thin or fat, they need to keep their views to themselves!

  2. It is very disrespectful to comment about the way one looks in a negative way. You are fat, you are thin, you are pale, you are dark, etc etc. Somehow a lot of people do not understand this simple thing. What has worked for me is to be blunt about it and tell people off when they say ‘you have gained weight but don’t gain more, it won’t look nice’. My body is not up for discussion.

    I can imagine your fury on inviting someone and being humiliated like this.

    I won’t comment on thin people getting more flak or chubby people getting more. Because I have never been too thin or too obese. Still I have received enough flak. It looks like nobody has it easy!

  3. Anu says:

    Oh, tell me about it! I’m seriously tired of being asked ‘ why are you so thin? don’t you eat?’ D’ya know what’s worse? Now people even go to the lengths of saying – ‘Not only are you thin, you’ve made your son also like that’ :( That has my temper shooting through the roof! ‘Made my son thin?!’ – he is a healthy, active, happy child who has been on the leaner side since when he was a baby. Once when I’d expressed my concern to his pediatrician that he isn’t chubby like many other kids, the doctor had admonished me saying – ‘be happy that he is so active and energetic. That’s all is important’. Sigh! I guess people talk nonsense because they have to talk, that’s all!

  4. OMG! I Can totally relate to you. Once upon a time, long, long ago, I used to be “wafer thin”. People used to comment so much that I joined yoga to “gain weight”, drank innumerable banana shakes, beer etc:) just to gain weight. Then I realised why on earth should I bother about it? I am healthy and it is better than being obese. So I retorted to their “tch tch you are so thin” with “are you jealous?” And then just wink. They could not take offence because of my wink but got the point because I hit their raw nerve:’)
    Just one more option for you to try my dear:) and please don’t think too much about them. Its just jealousy talking; )

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