Get to know people around me


Chapter Name: AHK Meets SnS

Question 1: What made it happen – AHK meet with SnS ?

Answer: SnS lives hundreds of mile away from AHK, but work circumstances brought AHK right near the city where SnS lives. After a few phone calls, the best option was chosen – AHK to visit SnS and then they both come back to AHK’s accommodation for a sleep-over!

Question 2: What happens when SnS meets AHK?
Answer: There are numerous things that happen when SnS meets AHK. A few of them are listed below in chronological order -
  • A dozen calls are made to and fro days before the actual meet.There is so much laughing into the phone, some third person might think they are mad, a little.
  • The cold winds does not matter when they meet, there is enough warmth from the hugs and lovely people around.
  • The smiles do not stop and the laughs only get louder together
  • ‘My city is like a village’, ‘My house is a mess’ –  SnS had said and AHK calls her a liar when she gets to see those. No, they are not !
  • AHK considers meeting G was a great added bonus, he was so courteous and charmingly sweet :)
  • Long drive and much chatter ensues, no prizes to guess their favorite topic – Blogs ;)
  • Topics flow out like from pandoras box, there is so much to talk, really.
  • When one stops the other picks the thread and when the other stops this one eases in again – before they know, it was 2 AM next morning already!
  • Good Nights are said and the lights are finally put off, they have all of next day for themselves after all
  • After a lazy wakeup, they are quick to get ready for free breakfast at the hotel lobby area
  • Eggs, Muffins, toast, bagels, fruits and cereal – all are had in leisure with hot coffee.
  • Oh, and there is freshly made waffles with sweet syrup too – AHK ‘made’ them while SnS carefully assisted :D
  • They start out together into a new unfamiliar city to go check out a mall
  • They loose way and take an hour to reach a place 15 minutes away – What? they are only 2 people with only 2 GPS with them. :P
  • They giggle and keep a the head high and swear to call it their ‘secret adventure trip’ ( to the mall) Heh.
  • The mall is found, explored and a bunch of happy nothings are bought.
  • A Yumm lunch is had sitting inside a rainforest – there are pythons, chimpanzees, elephants and alligators moving and making loud sounds. There was also thunder and lightning flashes now and then (  RainForest Cafe, anyone?)
  • A movie together is also in the cards and they choose to watch – “Mirror Mirror”. They beam with pride when SnowWhite locks her prince inside and says, “Fairytales always talk of prince saving the princess. But, I plan to change it. I will fight the monster myself!”
  • They make a ‘ long leisurely’ drive back and sit down with a cup of coffee and ensue talks on a a real-life fairytale
  • It is time to depart, but…there is so much left to talk, really! :)
  • There are gifts and hugs and meet-me-agains and a tinge of pain, for the meet is ending.
Question 3: How does it look when AHK meet SnS?
Answer: Something like this :
 
—————————————————————
 SnS – Loved every bit of the time together. You are honest, beautiful and such a wonderful person inside out. * blows out kisses*
Everyone else – How are you dearies doing? I have read each one of your comments on last post, will definitely leave a response when I have more time to spare. BTW, here is SnS version of the meet.  :)

It was 5:32 in the evening and the office cubicles were almost empty. I was still there though I was supposed to be on the road driving to the daycare to pick up Paapu, 2 minutes back. It takes around 20 minutes to reach the daycare, a little more if there is traffic. Daycare closes at 6 PM and the providers make it a point to mention “you are late!” even if it is by 4 minutes. Mommy guilt sucks.

“Shucks! Am late”, I thought, shutting down the laptop and hurriedly picking up my things.

I turned around while stuffing the laptop in the bag and noticed Rick* in the next cubicle was still working. He always did. He was in his place every day when I came in and he was right there, working intently even when I left. I give my 8+ hours all days in office, which meant Rick worked much more. I joined this new team recently and knew everyone in the team pretty well by now, except for Rick. He was old, maybe 55 or even 60. He wore neat and clean sweaters, although old looking and grey.He looked really close into the computer screen when he worked. If approached for an issue, he would offer his opinions and ideas. Then, he wrote them down and took prints to distribute to everyone concerned. “Just send us an email Rick”, we laughed sometimes. He spoke very matter-of-factly during meetings, and spoke defensively even at funny remarks made in a light moment. He hardly smiled.

Like everyone else (much younger to him) in the team, I began looking at him as a different case. Approached him only when it was truly necessary, never made small talk or tried to be friends. Although he sat right next to my cubicle. It was only casual ‘Hi’, ‘Bye.. Cya” and nothing else. Until that day.

I was just about to leave and noticed Rick looking deep into his computer screen and typing away. “Why does this man take work so seriously? Why doesn’t he just go home to his family?!”, I wondered and pat came these words out of my mouth, as if involuntarily.

“Hey Rick, do you have any kids?”

“Ummm.No”

“Wife..family..?”

“Well, my son died 7 years ago and my wife might be leaving me very soon”

“Oh…”, and my voice trailed off.

I cursed myself really bad in my head. Why did I need to ask him about family? How insensitive of me.Argh!

“Uh..I am sorry. But, I am sure things will turn around for you Rick”, I mumbled a lame effort.

“It does not look like that to me”, he smiled weakly.

“It will be okay. You just keep up hopes”, I said as I picked up my bag and dashed towards the door. Rick turned back to his computer.

“Am late”, I thought again and hurried to the car.

I got in and switched on the engine and suddenly, out of nowhere, a huge wave of sadness hit me like a ton of bricks. Before I knew it, I was sobbing uncontrollably into my palms. What had I just done?!!

It took couple of minutes to gather myself back again, get down the car and walk back into the office.

Rick was there, lost in the computer screen and typing some code.

“Hey Rick”

“Hey”

“I..I..I am terribly sorry I asked you the question… Can I give you a hug?”

He stretched out his arms slowly and then we hugged. “It’s gonna be okay Rick..It’s..”, I gulped the lump in my throat as I patted his back.

“Don’t cry. That’s alright”, he assured.

“It’s just that ..I might have judged you..and I feel really bad for that.I am sorry”, tears still rolling down.

“Oh..”

“Rick, since I saw you here working all the time, I wondered if you cared enough to go home to your family..”

“Family.. I don’t have one. Because I don’t have anyone or anything to go to. Seven years back, life seemed perfect! Then, my son passed away, all hell broke loose and everything fell apart..just like that.”

“…things can get better..” I tried to say.

“I am 56 and I have less life left. I don’t see it turning up again for me, ever. One thing that keeps me occupied is my work and I try and keep busy at it. I am here early..and I leave late. As I said, I have nothing else to go to.”  That weak smile again.

“I will send out good thoughts for you Rick, ask the one up above to set it right for you”

“Okay”, he said matter-of-factly, “Thank you”.

I walked back to the car slowly. The water in my eyes was drying up, but the pain lingered ..and I let it stay. I knew I deserved it. Realization, sometimes comes the hard way. And , it’s okay to hurt.

As I drove, the precept re-iterated in the head several times – Never judge people by their mannerisms or behavior. You never know what life has been to them..you never know the story they lived through..You never know where their smiles were left behind..You never know…

Paapu ran to me with a familiar delight as I stood there at the entrance of the daycare, arms stretched open for a hug.

Another day. Another lesson.

Such is life . It never stops teaching.

* Name changed to protect identity]

Small notes I wish to leave at office desks, anonymously :

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Dear guy in white T-shirt,

You are tall. You are good looking. You have an impressive gait and personality. But, why the white T-shirt always..every day since the 4 odd years I have seen you? And the pants..Oh, the pants. Green, red, yellow and orange. Really? I wonder whether you wear the same white top +Color bottom combo at home and during vacations too. Eh?

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Dear girl in velvety pants,

Agreed that you have a good figure and can carry off velvet pants ( in green mostly) quite well. In fact, I was impressed when I saw you for the first time. But, come on! It is done and over now. Give the velvety ones a break. They must also be tired of endowing your butt almost every day.The normal pants will look great too, promise!

—————————————

Dear guy in blue formal shirt,

I have never seen you in anything but a blue formal shirt and a black-ish trouser till date. And I have known you for more than 5 years. Smart and talented, but yet so self cautious always! Let go a little and smile heartily sometimes. Maybe that will help you ease up from inside and outsides too ( I hope), with another color for a shirt – white or black, at the least, may be?

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Dear lady in long skirt,

The long skirts are nice. Okay. They are comfortable too. Maybe. But, there are gazillion choices of clothes out there. Do you know? Also, do you know that wearing long skirts with loose mismatched top gives sore eyes. Not to you, but the ones who see you like that every single day.

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Dear girl in party wear,

Where’s the party tonight? No, seriously, that’s my question for you each day. Walking around in chic knee length dresses and perfect pointy heels  at work, I wonder whether you have a party scheduled each and every evening? And how  do you get time to wear so many layers of make up and curl the hair with luminous gel like that every day? Okay, am a little jealous. But, I still wonder..

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Dear guy with the faded look,

You earn more than me. I know since you have a bigger/better title. I can afford an iron box, so I know you can too.  Why don’t you go get one? Coming to work in faded, wrinkled, hapless shirt and pants day after day after day is boring. I agree you have a friendly  ‘Whatsup dude?’ attitude to go with, but wearing those pathetic baggy-type pants with wrinkled shirt even to  corporate presentations ..umm, not really cool dude.

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Dear lady in cute dress,

I recently found out that you are a mother of two teenage boys and I was dumbstruck! You hardly look more than 35 and have a figure to die for. The pencil waist and lustrous skin..sigh! To top that, you have one of the most beautiful dressing sense. Cute little skirts, flowy dresses, superbly paired shirts and pants, unique looking accessories, one-of-a-kind sweaters, comfortable and yet elegant footwear..oh, the list goes on. I envy you.

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Dear guy in  flashy colors,

You are young, well built, muscular , have a handsome face and hairstyle too. You are Indian and I know you secretly plan to run away to Bollywood one day and become a hero. But, spare us your fashion experiments please? I am sure the dress designers in your Bollywood movie will get you enough combinations of flashy yellow and red with sparkly golden shoes to go with. However, in the office, especially at meetings, the blinding colors hurt the eyes sometimes. Yes, they really do.

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[ Disclaimer : All I do is look  at people and judge their dressing sense at the work place you think? Well, no. I look away and do my work too…sometimes :P ]

I am in grave danger of being smacked in the head for not having posted a thing here since many weeks. Although virtual, sometimes those smacks pain no less . No, really! :D

So, here are some very random leaves out of the days in my life lately. Bullet points maketh a post too. Yes ? :)

  • The festival season is here! Navarathri, as always, is all about colorful doll displays, dinner invites, pretty sarees and chic jewelry, super yumm sweets ( think Jalebi, Rasmalai, Badam halwa!) and spicy sundal. Navarathri is also about Dandia dancing in gorgeous lehengas. So much of talking and laughing out loud that I recently gave myself a sore throat. The good kind of sore throat :D
  •  I sing Carnatic Classical and I do it decently well, if not exceptionally great. My old, tethered song book with ripped pages and brown edges comes out only during Navarathri. Am just so happy to sing some of my old favorites. But when my memory fails me with some complex compositions, am very much ashamed. I profusely apologize to all music Gods (?) for having failed and for having ignored them all year round. The scenario repeats again the next year anyway, the book having gone back into the rack once again :P
  • My MIL is visiting. She is staying with her daughter (my SIL) who lives 7 miles away. She calls us regularly just to ask “How are you doing?”.She visits us when she wants to play with Paapu. She comes over when I have guests coming over and helps with the cooking. She comes when I am too held up at work and my home needs some care. I am beginning to realize she is one of the best things that happened to me with marriage and I cannot thank my luck enough for that. There are itsy bitsy complaints, but there is a lot of warmth and love too..I can see .
  • We have a newborn in the family. Cousin PP, who also lives nearby delivered her second offspring – a bundle of buttery soft, pink cheeked baby boy. The highlight of the news though, was that she had a normal delivery in spite of the C-section during her first delivery 2 years ago. It is called VBAC ( visit link if you need info). Neither many women opt for it nor many doctors agree to go with it. Also, she did it without epidural or pain medication! When I was gushing over how great her achievement was, she calmly tells me “All credit to my husband. He was the one who insisted I should go without epidural. Could not have done without him”. I left my next words float away. How can the husband decide whether the wife should / shouldn’t take pain medication? Isn’t it the sole right of the woman in labor herself? I was told she cried and pleaded for epidural, while the husband stood by his words “No, you can manage without it”. The husband looked at her, beaming with pride. And, I sat there appalled.
  •  When you are chasing a deadline at work, when you are clamoring to get things done, when all you  are thinking is work all day and even dream of it in the night ( argh!), when you pay less attention to food and more to your computer, when you feel like you are always running ….a simple “I LOVE YOU” note from the hubby can jolt you back to sense. Especially when it is most unexpected and much needed. Deadlines can wait while I smile and pick the phone to whisper it back to him :)
  •  A nine month old is a baby, but a nineteen month old is NOT a baby. Heck, it is easier to type than to accept. I have just that one nursing at night still going on and I cannot seem to bring myself to wean Paapu off. I still mash food for her sometimes, when I know she can handle normal food perfectly, even without the molars. I get protective when hubby plays rough with her ( read hang her head down holding feet for example) when I know she is laughing and having a good time. I worry incessantly when she skips dinner altogether and just gorges on fruits or cheese once a while. I know and I am still in denial :(  My baby is no baby anymore. She is a little girl.
  •  The wife of a friend has been staying over for few weeks. She moved from east to west coast owing to a job and her husband of 1.5 years is forced to stay alone for the time being. She is a picture of cheerfulness and goes along with everyone like a charm. But, that hint of sadness in her eyes always showed. One fine night, the husband just flew in and surprised the heck out of her! ( yes, we all witnessed the happy tears and jumping). And, the sadness in the eyes vanished, just like that.  Sigh! I love Love :)

So, what’s been happening on your side ?

Wish you all happy festivities, with Diwali in  tow next !

See you around, k? :)

I told her!

For the uninitiated, this is the sequel to my last post about the semi-naked, drunk girl friend on chat :D

After some thinking and after much reading the comments on the previous post, I  decided to let my satanic part win this time ;) . Well, I had some good intentions in letting her know too.

See it yourself on the email I wrote to her :

—————————-

How’s you doing? Hope all is well.

We had a long chat on Monday night (your time) and you sounded..err..weird :)

It was quite obvious you were slosh drunk then. Not sure if you remember now, but  do check the chat archive logs.

A couple of things -

If it was indeed you who typed all that, then seriously avoid coming on  chat/phone/email while drunk. There might be wrong people out there to misuse a  situation and that might be kind of dangerous. You know what I mean, yeah?

If it was not you who typed on chat that day , then make sure your account was not  hacked and used by somebody else. That thought it damn creepy!

Take care.

—————————-

I received a hasty little response from her the same day that said :

—————————-

I am fine. Very Sorry.. I shouldn’t have come online when I was drunk.

I just checked the chat archives..

Want to talk to you. Will catch you online without the booze this time :)

—————————-

The next day she popped up on the chat as soon as I logged in, as if she had been waiting!

Her name on chat involuntarily shot up a big red warning sign in my head. Thankfully, she was sane and sober this time.

Embarrassed apologies ensued, later followed by profuse requests not to divulge any of  what-took-place-that-night to her people, especially the husband!

————————————

Her: I did all of it without the husband knowing. He still doesn’t have a clue. Let this remain between just the two of us, please.

Me: Sure, don’t worry. But, why didn’t you tell the husband?

Her: What should I tell? You tell me.

Me: You could say you had a couple of drinks..bit too much to handle and not mention about other things. To keep him informed, I guess.

Her: Hmm..I just had one glass you know?

Me: Haha! No way! That’s too less to get intoxicated :D

Her: Really!

Me: One glass of wine = Just half of the glass from the rim.

Her: I had a full glass … or was it a full bottle..oh, can’t recall.

Me: :D That’s all right. Forget it.

—————————————–

At this point I actually started feeling sorry for her situation. So, a quick  change of topic had us talking a bit of work, a little of family and a lot of the good old school days !

Finally, it all ended nice..with smiles lingering afterwards:

She: Am really happy now that I have spoken to you about it..phew!

Me: Ditto here .

She: Good Night, Sleep tight :)

Me: May the Bed Bugs not bite :)

I know her from kindergarten. We went to the same school and then the same pre-university college. We were friends, not thick buddies, not great pals..just friends.
Tall, beautiful, athletic, talented – She was all this bundled up in a strong charming persona everyone seemed to admire. I did too, but not in the same light. I secretly envied her for all she was. Not that I was lesser, but just because I could not be her!
We parted ways soon after college and went on with our lives. I lost touch with  her, as with many from school until we bumped each other on a networking site  sometime back. She was married and was living a good life. I went through her  pictures and realized that I don’t feel the envious pangs anymore…but it had not died down either.
Yesterday, finally, the jealousy died. Just like that, it went away. It is since been replaced by a smug smirk ;)
Want to know how?
Out of the blue, she pinged me on chat yesterday. I was surprised since that was least expected. We were neither close enough or bothered to check on each other by any means, anytime before that.
She started with a casual ‘Hi, Are you there?’ and I responded. It was all normal conversation for a few minutes. But, what followed later, totally took me aback! While I am still shaking my head in disbelief, the chat log tells me it did really happen.
Here are the excerpts from the chat for you. You will know why I am holding back a chuckle and smiling a vicious smile now.
———————————————–
She: Ok..going to sleep now
Me: Ok, Good night, Sleep tight and may the bed bugs not bite. Nice catching up  with you today. :)
She: You are making Me hot ;-)
Me: haha!!  :D   * ‘hehe..what??*
She: But Me alone na
Me: oh..why so? where’s hubby?
She: :-( He is out. So how about you?
Me: Its 12 noon on Monday and am at office now..
She: You in mood?
Me: * Gulp.What’s wrong with her?*  Not really , especially when you are in office  working on some boring stuff. But, looks like you are! Time to call up your guy, I  guess. :D
She: Will call him later. Do u know what dress I am in?
Me: * My tubelight brain just lighted up!*  Hey, one question..
She: Yes
Me: You been drinking?
She: No..yes..I mean not yet. Why?
Me: You sound different than I used to know..
She: Oh, its all because of …….the mood ;)
Me: Ok, I get it  *time to run away!*
She: what did you get?
Me: Chalo, will get back to working now, you get some sleep or maybe talk to your  guy.Take care, bye now
She: mmm..so you are going??
Me: Sorry, am in office and got loads of things to finish. Monday today na :(  * You better end it here miss or be prepared to be shit embarrassed tomorrow when you are sober *
She: Yes, Monday night for me…Ok, I had some wine.. nothing to hide..makes me feel gooooood.You know, I am just in my bra and panty.
Me: * OMG! Help!*  Wine is fine, I have it occasionally too. But I think u have had too much of it ..go sleep now, ok? I have gottu get back to work, really.
She: I didn’t know when to stop drinking..but, it’s really made me hot ;)
Me: * Uff!! You really need help girl * Hmm.I think you should drink only when  there are friends or people with you girl….getting drunk alone like this is not fun.
She: I was with my colleagues…As soon as I got home I removed all my clothes except bra and panty you know?
Me: * Gosh, this is getting freaky! * Hmm.. Take a nice shower then.
She: I feel so horny, not sure why..
Me: All the wine you had is acting up. Go take a shower and drink lots of  water..will make you feel better. * Phew! I am tired trying to put some sense here  *
She: Hmm..I am going to be on bed for some time and enjoy, ok ;)
Me: Go ahead, but I need to leave now. Bye * Run for your life! *
She: ok..catch u later..Good night
Me: ..
She: Tell na Good night ;)
———————————————–
Not sure if she even remembered this chat when she woke up next day.
I have two options:
Leave her a line asking to check her chat log and imagine her going red with embarrassment.
OR
Act all zen by pretending nothing ever happened and move on.
The bad jealous part of me votes for the former, while the angelic halo part of me chooses the latter.
What do you say?

I know her from kindergarten. We went to the same school and then the same pre-university college. We were friends, not thick buddies, not great pals..just friends.

Tall, beautiful, athletic, talented – She was all this bundled up in a strong charming persona everyone seemed to admire. I did too, but not in the same light. I secretly envied her for all she was. Not that I was lesser, but just because I could not be her!

We parted ways soon after college and went on with our lives. I lost touch with  her, as with many from school until we bumped each other on a networking site  sometime back. She was married and was living a good life. I went through her  pictures and realized that I don’t feel the envious pangs anymore…but it had not died down either.

Yesterday, finally, the jealousy died. Just like that, it went away. It has since been replaced by a smug smirk ;)

Want to know how?

Out of the blue, she pinged me on chat yesterday. I was surprised since that was least expected. Not just because it was late at night in India. We were neither close enough nor bothered to check on each other by any means, anytime before that.

She started with a casual ‘Hi, Are you there?’ and I responded. It was all normal conversation for a few minutes. But, what followed later, totally took me aback! While I am still shaking my head in disbelief, the chat log tells me it did really happen.

Here are the excerpts from the chat for you. You will know why I am holding back a chuckle and smiling a vicious smile now.

———————————————–

She: Ok..going to sleep now

Me: Ok, Good night, Sleep tight and may the bed bugs not bite. Nice catching up  with you today. :)

She: You are making Me hot ;-)

Me: haha!!  :D   * ‘hehe..what??*

She: But me alone na

Me: oh..why so? where’s hubby?

She: :-( He is out. So how about you?

Me: Its 12 noon on Monday and am at office now..

She: You in mood?

Me: * Gulp.What’s wrong with her?* Not really , especially when you are in office  working on some boring stuff. But, looks like you are! Time to call up your guy, I  guess. :D

She: Will call him later. Do u know what dress I am in?

Me: * My tubelight brain just lighted up!* Hey, one question..

She: Yes

Me: You been drinking?

She: No..yes..I mean not yet. Why?

Me: You sound different than I used to know..

She: Oh, its all because of …….the mood ;)

Me: Ok, I get it  *time to run away!*

She: what did you get?

Me: Chalo, will get back to working now, you get some sleep or maybe talk to your  guy.Take care, bye now

She: mmm..so you are going??

Me: Sorry, am in office and got loads of things to finish. Monday today na :(    * You better end it here miss or be prepared to be shit embarrassed tomorrow when you are sober *

She: Yes, Monday night for me…Ok, I had some wine.. nothing to hide..makes me feel gooooood.You know, I am just in my bra and panty.

Me: * OMG! Help!* Wine is fine, I have it occasionally too. But I think you have had too much of it ..go sleep now, ok? I have gottu get back to work, really.

She: I didn’t know when to stop drinking..but, it’s really made me hot ;)

Me: * Uff!! You really need help girl * Hmm.I think you should drink only when  there are friends or people with you girl….getting drunk alone like this is not fun.

She: I was with my colleagues…As soon as I got home I removed all my clothes except bra and panty you know?

Me: * Gosh, this is getting freaky! * Hmm.. Take a nice shower then.

She: I feel so horny, not sure why..

Me: All the wine you had is acting up. Go take a shower and drink lots of  water..will make you feel better. * Phew! I am tired trying to put some sense here  *

She: Hmm..I am going to be on bed for some time and enjoy, ok ;)

Me: Go ahead, but I need to leave now. Bye  * Run for your life! *

She: ok..catch you later..Good night

Me: ..

She: Tell na.. Good night ;)

———————————————–

Not sure if she even remembered this chat when she woke up next day.

I have two options:

Leave her a line asking to check her chat log and imagine her going red with embarrassment.

OR

Act all zen by pretending nothing ever happened and move on.

The bad jealous part of me votes for the former, while the angelic halo part of me chooses the latter.

What do you say? :)

Lunch break conversation in the cafeteria:
Me: So, what do you have for breakfast?
DesiColleagueGuy1: Parathey
Me: Daily?
DesiColleagueGuy1: Yes, my wife wakes up early and makes them for me everyday.
Me: Wow!!
DesiColleagueGuy2: Why do you act so shocked? His wife is just being a good  ’Bharatiya Naari’.
Me: What? Why do you label it that? Who set the benchmark for a Bharatiya Naari ?
DesiColleagueGuy2:Now don’t act all non-feminist. I just spoke fact.
Me: Firstly, it is ‘feminist’ and not ‘non’.Do you even know what it means?
DesiColleagueGuy2: Whatever..
Me: The ‘Bharatiya Naari’ and its specifications all came from men.
DesiColleagueGuy2: So what?
Me: If women were given a chance they would change the definition of Bharatiya Naari, am sure.
DesiColleagueGuy2: Haha, who stopped them?
Me: Now, don’t get me started man,. From time immemorial women have been treated inferior by men. Mostly because men are physically stronger.
DesiColleagueGuy1: How can you say that? I think it is more to do with mental  strength and intelligence.
Me: And how is that?
DesiColleagueGuy1: Look, if women had enough mental strength and smartness to break the rules and go ahead, they would have! No man could have stopped them.
Me: You mean women were treated inferior because they were less smarter than men?
DesiColleagueGuy2: Of course! We even have a saying in my native language for that. Translates to say “smartness of a woman is lesser than the sole of her feet”
Me: Wha..???
DesiColleagueGuy1: So, it has all to do with mental abilities ..and why men claimed superiority
Me: Huh? I will never accept women are any lesser than men when it comes to brains. I think it all started with physical differences. Men kept women subdued because  they were the weaker of the sexes, physically. Since the age old days, men were the ones who built countries and formed laws.Women were hardly in picture!
DesiColleagueGuy1: Ah…Why were they not in picture? Because they  were not smart enough.
Me: You don’t get my point!
DesiColleagueGuy2: All this argument because you don’t make paratheys for your husband every morning? Hahaha
Me: #%^&*)%%^&*(@$%% !!
Either my route to the argument was wrong or those two MCP’s were just not getting it.
What do you think? For centuries, women were treated inferior by men. Things have changed/are changing for the better now..but how did it all start?
Was it physical differences or was there something else to it?

Lunch break conversation in the cafeteria:

—————————————————————-

Me: So, what do you have for breakfast usually?

DesiColleagueGuy1: Parathey

Me: Daily?

DesiColleagueGuy1: Yes, my wife wakes up early and makes them for me everyday.

Me: Wow!!

DesiColleagueGuy2:  Why do you act so shocked? His wife is just being a good  ’Bharatiya Naari’.

Me: What? Why do you label it that? Who set the benchmark for a Bharatiya Naari ?

DesiColleagueGuy2: Now don’t act all non-feminist. I just spoke fact.

Me: Firstly, it is ‘feminist’ without a ”non’. Do you even know what it means?

DesiColleagueGuy2: Whatever..

Me: The ‘Bharatiya Naari’ and its specifications all came from men.

DesiColleagueGuy2: So what?

Me: If women were given a chance they would change the definition of Bharatiya Naari, am sure.

DesiColleagueGuy2: Haha, who stopped them?

Me: Now, don’t get me started man.. .from time immemorial women have been treated inferior by men. Mostly because men are physically stronger.

DesiColleagueGuy1: How can you say that? I think it is more to do with mental  strength and intelligence.

Me: And how is that?

DesiColleagueGuy1: Look, if women had enough mental strength and smartness to break the rules and go ahead, they would have! No man could have stopped them.

Me: You mean women were treated low because they were not as smart as men?

DesiColleagueGuy2: Of course! We even have a saying in my native language which translates to say “smartness of a woman is lesser than the sole of her feet” Hehe.

Me: Wha..???

DesiColleagueGuy1: So, it has all to do with mental abilities ..and why men claimed superiority

Me: Huh? I will never accept women are any lesser than men when it comes to brains. I think it all started with physical differences. Men kept women subdued because  they were the weaker of the sexes, physically. Since the age old days, men were the ones who built countries and formed laws.Women were hardly in picture!

DesiColleagueGuy1: Ah…Why were they not in picture? Because they  were not smart enough.

Me: You don’t get my point!

DesiColleagueGuy2: All this argument because you don’t make paratheys for your husband every morning? Hahaha

Me: #%^&*)%%^&*(@$%%

————————————————–

Either my route to the argument was not strong enough or those two MCP’s were just not getting it.

What do you think?  Bharatiya or not, for centuries, women were treated inferior by men. Things have changed/are changing for the better now..but how did it all start?

Was it physical differences or was there something else to it?

Imagine a dark night, standing in the middle of a forest, cold breeze making a compelling whisper and there is a sudden hoot heard from a distance…Ok, that was a lame attempt at painting a scary picture. My recent ‘camping in the wilderness’ experience was anything but scary :)

Humboldt Redwood State Park was the venue .

It was the first time camping, for us as well as for our camping mates (another couple, Pr the husband and Lx the wife.) But tips and pointers from a dozen experienced people did us good. Tents and tools, blankets and buckets, matchbox and masalas – we arrived all prepared..or so we thought.

First thing we did after setting up the tent was to get out the stove and make some hot masala chai.Just when all were patting own backs for a task accomplished, one asked ‘Where’s the strainer?”. Never would anyone realize the dire importance of a tea strainer until you are stuck without one on a cold evening in the middle of the jungle ..and with some smoking hot chai waiting to be filtered and sipped. Arrgh! Anyways, it took only a few minutes before we came up with an alternative – paper towel. It took patient minutes of slow and steady pouring, but it worked! Here is the proof :D

Me with Pb at a mission ;)

Me with Pr at a mission ;)

Later in the evening, a leisurely walk in the woods, hand in hand with H was rejuvenating…like untying some knots from the inner being and setting them free.

Stroll

It was darker and colder soon. The able men of the  21st century took more than 10 minutes to figure out the right way to set up a camp fire before we could finally sit and warm ourselves :D

An elaborate dinner prep ensued and though it took little more than an hour, our menu read like this -

Grilled corn on the cob with salt, pepper and lemon rubbed on

Grilled and fried potatoes with a good dash of salt and chili powder

Readymade Parathas and paneer palak reheated to perfection

Dahi/yogurt for the sides

Pickles of 3 variety

Cookies for desert

All of the above washed down along a glass of wine..that’s one awesome feeling right there!

 

After a while we retired for the night with a sleeping bag and a book into our tents  and called it a day..a fulfilling day :)

Retiring

Night was in fact the toughest part. Three layers of clothing, a fleece blanket under a thick insulation sleeping bag and still it felt cold!

In hardly 30 minutes, we heard Pr calling out for H . It was getting hard to breathe, he said. H tried to keep a calm outlook and asked him to try doing the inhale-exhale deeply. He came out of the tent,  tried exactly that and immediately felt better. The reason for the temporary breathing problem was because his body did not like the enclosed space he was lying in. Pr and H set out in the car looking for a motel to sleep…it was midnight. I lie in my tent, tightly closed eyes, pretending to have fallen asleep in that pitch darkness. Lx was also around, but no help at all. For the kind of condescendingly cold person she is, I am not sure if she was even worried for her husband. No kidding!

The boys returned in some time and complained there was no place to stay around the forest. Duh ?! Finally Pr and Lx moved out  and slept on the comfy reclining seats in the car .

Dawn broke and I woke up to the sounds of woodpeckers busy at work. The morning was a magnificent sight. How often do you open your eyes to something like this?

Morning lights

Those ultra maintained common shower rooms and rest rooms for campers was a blessing. I can live natural..but..err..not having to look for bushes or wide trees to do your daily job..hehe.

Kudos to the H’s planning, we spent the morning playing amidst those pleasant green surroundings. Collecting the Shuttle Cork and Frisbee back when they flew into broken twigs or thorny bushes did not seem like a big deal at all!

After a quick breakfast, we packed our swim suits and set out to a river nearby. While the day was sunny enough for the guys to open up chilled beer cans, the river water gave us shivers. So it was just wetting our feet and posing for some pics..and of course munching on the salt snacks we brought along.

Riverside

It was lunch time and we soon were back at our camp site lighting our stove. By then it was pretty obvious that Pr is a thoroughly helpful and friendly person while Lx is just the opposite. She just stood there carelessly watching us work, occasionally lifting a random object off the table and asking me ‘ where should I keep this?’. Super Annoying. I sure grumbled in my head ‘ Does this look like my private kitchen? Find your work and be a team member if you can, missy’. 

The drive to the ‘Avenue of Giants’ through the forest roads was so amazing that we had to stop mid way to take it all in. I was acting like a crazy monkey-brand in the middle of the road..too happy to be there, I guess ;)

Crazy

The rest half of the day was spent trekking in that wilderness- one of the most gorgeous I have ever seen. The narrow mud path among the giant redwoods humbles you. Each one of those trees age back a thousand years…and every single tree releases more then 500 gallons of water into the air, in a single day! ( yeah, yeah..I read the facts).

Now, tell me, does this picture remind you of Jurassic park? I waited to spot a T-Rex too :P

JurassicPark

On the way back to the camp site, the boys made a spontaneous decision and turned the car towards one other popular spot nearby, the Trinidad beach. It was an hour long drive and though hungry and tired by then, we got out of the car for a view like this… and forgot everything else.

Trinidad Beach

Walking down the steps towards the beach, humming a silly song ..

Steps

I remember standing still near that rock and heartily thanking God – for making earth so beautiful and putting me in it to savor every bit.

Thoughts

Next day, bidding good bye was hard, but we knew we were not going back empty. 

We had the greenest of memories and the most gratifying of moments to take back home with us….much more than asked for :)

 

Imagine a dark night, standing in the middle of a forest, cold breeze making a compelling whisper and there is a sudden hoot heard from a distance.Ok, that was a lame attempt at painting a scary picture. My recent ‘camping in the wilderness’ experience was anything but scary :)
Humboldt Redwood State Park was the venue.( http://www.humboldtredwoods.org/ ).It was the first time camping, for us as well as for our camping mates (another couple, Pb the husband and Lx the wife.) But tips and pointers from a dozen experienced people did us good. Tents and tools, blankets and buckets, matchbox and masalas – we arrived all prepared..or so we thought. First thing we did after setting up the tent was to get out the stove and make some hot masala chai.Just when all were patting own backs for a task accomplished, one asked ‘Where’s the strainer?”. Never would anyone realize the dire importance of a tea strainer until you are stuck without one on a cold evening in the middle of the jungle and with some smoking hot chai smoking waiting to be filtered and sipped. Arrgh! Anyways, it took only a few minutes before we came up with an alternative – paper towel. It took patient minutes of slow and steady pouring, but it worked! Here is the proof :D
Photo
Later in the evening, a leisurely walk in the woods, hand in hand with H was rejuvenating…like untying some knots from the inner being and setting them free.
Photo
It was darker and colder soon. The able men of the  21st century took more than 10 minutes to figure out the right way to set up a camp fire before we could finally sit and warm ourselves :D
An elaborate dinner prep ensued and though it took little more than an hour, our menu read like this -
Grilled corn on the cob with salt, pepper and lemon rubbed in
Grilled and fried potatoes with a good dash of salt and chili powder
Readymade Parathas and paneer palak reheated to perfection
Dahi/yogurt for the sides
Pickles of 3 variety
Cookies for desert
All of the above washed down along a glass of wine..that’s one awesome feeling right there!
After a while we retired for the night with a sleeping bag and a book into our tents, we called it a day..fulfilling day :)
Photo
Night was in fact the toughest part. Three layers of clothing, a fleece blanket under a thick insulation sleeping bag and still it felt cold. I was somehow falling asleep when Pr called out for H and worriedly said he is unable to sleep..or breathe! H tried to keep a calm outlook and asked him to try doing the inhale-exhale deeply. He came out of the tent and tried it and immediately felt better. The reason for the temporary breathing problem was because his body did not like the enclosed space he was lying in. Pr and H set out in the car looking for a motel to sleep…it was midnight. I lie in my tent, tightly closed eyes, pretending to have fallen asleep in that pitch darkness.Lx was also around, but no help at all. For the kind of condescendingly cold kind of person she is, I am not sure if she was even worried for her husband. No kidding!
The boys returned in some time and complained there was no place to stay around the forest. Duh ?! Finally Pr and Lx moved out of tents and slept in the car reclining the comfy seats to the fullest.
Dawn broke and I woke up to the sounds of woodpeckers busy at work, pecking at trees. How often do you open your eyes to something like this?
Photo
Those ultra maintained common shower rooms and rest rooms for campers was a blessing. I can live wild..but..err..not having to look for bushes and wide trees to do your job..hehe.
Kudos to the H’s planning, we spent the morning playing amidst those pleasant green surroundings. Collecting the Shuttle Cork and Frisbee back when they flew into some broken twigs or thorny bushes did not seem like a big deal at all!
After a quick breakfast, we packed up our swim suits and set out to a river nearby. while the day was sunny enough for the guys to open up chilled beer cans, the river water gave us shivers. So it was just wetting our feet and posing for some pics..and of course munching on the salt snacks seated on the sands.
Photo
It was lunch time and we were soon back at our camp site lighting our stove. By then it was pretty obvious that Pr is a thoroughly helpful and friendly person while Lx was just the opposite. She just stood there carelessly watching us work, occasionally lifting a random object off the table and asking me ‘ where should I keep this?’. Super Annoying. I sure grumbled in my head ‘ Does this look like my private kitchen? Find your work and be a team member if you can, missy’. 
The drive to the ‘Avenue of Giants’ through the forest roads was so amazing that we had to stop mid way to take it all in. I was acting like a crazy monkey brand in the middle of the road..too happy to be there, I guess ;)
Photo
The rest half of the day was spent trekking in that wilderness- one of the most gorgeous I have ever seen. The narrow mud path among the giant redwoods humbles you. Each one of those trees age back a thousand years…and every single tree produces more then 500 gallons of water in a single day! ( yeah, yeah..I read the facts).
Now, tell me, does this remind you of Jurassic park? I waited to spot a T-Rex too :P
Photo
On the way back to the camp site, the boys made a spontaneous decision and turned the car towards one other popular spot nearby. It was an hour long driving distance. Though hungry and tired by then, we go out of the car for a view like this, and forgot everything else.
Photo
Walking down the steps towards the beach, humming a silly song ..
I remember standing still near that rock and heartily thanking God – for making earth so beautiful and putting me in it to savor every bit.
Photo
Next day, bidding good bye was hard, but we knew we were not going back empty. 
We had the greenest of memories and the most gratifying of moments to take back home with us….and that was more than enough :)
Imagine a dark night, standing in the middle of a forest, cold breeze making a compelling whisper and there is a sudden hoot heard from a distance.Ok, that was a lame attempt at painting a scary picture. My recent ‘camping in the wilderness’ experience was anything but scary :)
Humboldt Redwood State Park was the venue.( http://www.humboldtredwoods.org/ ).It was the first time camping, for us as well as for our camping mates (another couple, Pb the husband and Lx the wife.) But tips and pointers from a dozen experienced people did us good. Tents and tools, blankets and buckets, matchbox and masalas – we arrived all prepared..or so we thought. First thing we did after setting up the tent was to get out the stove and make some hot masala chai.Just when all were patting own backs for a task accomplished, one asked ‘Where’s the strainer?”. Never would anyone realize the dire importance of a tea strainer until you are stuck without one on a cold evening in the middle of the jungle and with some smoking hot chai smoking waiting to be filtered and sipped. Arrgh! Anyways, it took only a few minutes before we came up with an alternative – paper towel. It took patient minutes of slow and steady pouring, but it worked! Here is the proof :D
Photo
Later in the evening, a leisurely walk in the woods, hand in hand with H was rejuvenating…like untying some knots from the inner being and setting them free.
Photo
It was darker and colder soon. The able men of the  21st century took more than 10 minutes to figure out the right way to set up a camp fire before we could finally sit and warm ourselves :D
An elaborate dinner prep ensued and though it took little more than an hour, our menu read like this -
Grilled corn on the cob with salt, pepper and lemon rubbed in
Grilled and fried potatoes with a good dash of salt and chili powder
Readymade Parathas and paneer palak reheated to perfection
Dahi/yogurt for the sides
Pickles of 3 variety
Cookies for desert
All of the above washed down along a glass of wine..that’s one awesome feeling right there!
After a while we retired for the night with a sleeping bag and a book into our tents, we called it a day..fulfilling day :)
Photo
Night was in fact the toughest part. Three layers of clothing, a fleece blanket under a thick insulation sleeping bag and still it felt cold. I was somehow falling asleep when Pr called out for H and worriedly said he is unable to sleep..or breathe! H tried to keep a calm outlook and asked him to try doing the inhale-exhale deeply. He came out of the tent and tried it and immediately felt better. The reason for the temporary breathing problem was because his body did not like the enclosed space he was lying in. Pr and H set out in the car looking for a motel to sleep…it was midnight. I lie in my tent, tightly closed eyes, pretending to have fallen asleep in that pitch darkness.Lx was also around, but no help at all. For the kind of condescendingly cold kind of person she is, I am not sure if she was even worried for her husband. No kidding!
The boys returned in some time and complained there was no place to stay around the forest. Duh ?! Finally Pr and Lx moved out of tents and slept in the car reclining the comfy seats to the fullest.
Dawn broke and I woke up to the sounds of woodpeckers busy at work, pecking at trees. How often do you open your eyes to something like this?
Photo
Those ultra maintained common shower rooms and rest rooms for campers was a blessing. I can live wild..but..err..not having to look for bushes and wide trees to do your job..hehe.
Kudos to the H’s planning, we spent the morning playing amidst those pleasant green surroundings. Collecting the Shuttle Cork and Frisbee back when they flew into some broken twigs or thorny bushes did not seem like a big deal at all!
After a quick breakfast, we packed up our swim suits and set out to a river nearby. while the day was sunny enough for the guys to open up chilled beer cans, the river water gave us shivers. So it was just wetting our feet and posing for some pics..and of course munching on the salt snacks seated on the sands.
Photo
It was lunch time and we were soon back at our camp site lighting our stove. By then it was pretty obvious that Pr is a thoroughly helpful and friendly person while Lx was just the opposite. She just stood there carelessly watching us work, occasionally lifting a random object off the table and asking me ‘ where should I keep this?’. Super Annoying. I sure grumbled in my head ‘ Does this look like my private kitchen? Find your work and be a team member if you can, missy’. 
The drive to the ‘Avenue of Giants’ through the forest roads was so amazing that we had to stop mid way to take it all in. I was acting like a crazy monkey brand in the middle of the road..too happy to be there, I guess ;)
Photo
The rest half of the day was spent trekking in that wilderness- one of the most gorgeous I have ever seen. The narrow mud path among the giant redwoods humbles you. Each one of those trees age back a thousand years…and every single tree produces more then 500 gallons of water in a single day! ( yeah, yeah..I read the facts).
Now, tell me, does this remind you of Jurassic park? I waited to spot a T-Rex too :P
Photo
On the way back to the camp site, the boys made a spontaneous decision and turned the car towards one other popular spot nearby. It was an hour long driving distance. Though hungry and tired by then, we go out of the car for a view like this, and forgot everything else.
Photo
Walking down the steps towards the beach, humming a silly song ..
I remember standing still near that rock and heartily thanking God – for making earth so beautiful and putting me in it to savor every bit.
Photo
Next day, bidding good bye was hard, but we knew we were not going back empty. 
We had the greenest of memories and the most gratifying of moments to take back home with us….and that was more than enough :)

I had plans to write down a fun list of things that has been happening with me in recent times.As I biked on the trail bearing the cold evening wind and smiling at the big bright moon above me yesterday, I made a mental note of all that I was going to jot down here.

But, I woke up to a strange day today.

No smile in return to my smile when I woke up, no ‘Good Morning’ hug, not even a word from H.

I knew the reason why, so let it pass. He is taking his time, but will be back to me soon..I thought.

Like any normal morning, on a working day, I got busy packing lunch for both of us while H went into the bathroom to shower. In some time, I heard him come out and get ready for office.

As I stood there, in the kitchen, very sure about H coming in to pick up his lunch and say bye, I heard the main door bang shut. I continued to stand there, fidgeting with the things on the kitchen counter, still assuming that he went out for something and will be back..to pick up his lunch and say bye.

I might have stood there for about 10 minutes before coming out to the living room and finding out his laptop bag gone. So, were his shoes and the car outside. All gone.

He had left..without a word.

Never happened before.

It started yesterday night when we went to this couples place ( Sh the wife and Mh the husband) for dinner.They are H’s distant relatives too.

Sh and Mh are one of the most open minded and liberal people I have known. From ideas for a better socio economic society to dealing with annoying people in the family, their perspective has mostly left me nodding my head and thinking ‘Wow! they should blog!’ (Yeah, I checked, they didn’t. Hmmmph.)

So, after dinner all 4 of us sat down with some really delicious Rasmalai, talking over general matters, when this sensitive topic came up.

Me and H have always had difference of opinion about how far can one go with religious beliefs. Yes, we both are hindus, still.

I am of the opinion that each have their own standards of being religious.

One might want to wake up at 4 AM in the morning and climb up 1000 steps up the hill and pray to feel connected to God.
While some others might just feel equally connected just by sitting at home and chanting a few mantras with devotion.

One might feel that falling at the feet of all the ‘holy’ men and accepting their ‘holy’ prasadam is one way to salvation.
While some others might detest the same, and think there need not be any mediators between you and God. Not holy men.

One might believe that donating generously to temples is the best way to support the betterment of society, indirectly.
While some others might believe direct donations for the betterment of poor and needy is the only way to go.

If you have not guessed yet, the latter are my type of people. H belongs to the former group of believers.

I was caught in the heat of the moment and proved to the crowd how H belongs to the old school of thought and has forced me into it, many times, without my consent. Sh and Mh, supported my point of view fairly aggressively.

I might have pulled some sensitive chord somewhere at some point during this whole thing…because H said ” Then, why did you ever have to marry me?”

I tried making the air lighter by joking ” Well, you did not have your religious beliefs listed on your resume when I chose to marry you” with a genuine smile.

But, I guess the damage was done.

H did not utter a word to me during the entire drive back. I tried my best to tell him that it was just a healthy discussion and I totally support his beliefs though I don’t believe in them.

It is way past 2 in the afternoon now, the next day..and there is still not a word from the other end.

I have left him a voice message , 2 emails and about 5 missed calls so far. I am not being let in, yet.

Hey H,

Have I done/spoken anything that deserves such a punishment?
I do have my right to speak my mind, no? You got your fair chance too.

Come on now, sweetheart, it is getting lonely without you already.

Temples, beliefs and holy men might be all that they are worth…but not enough to keep us sad like this.

Come on now, call up and say “I miss you too”.

I’ll eagerly wait for your bear hug when I reach home from office today.

Are you listening?

:(

Rest can wait, I have a hot update from the plate.

I took my driving test today.

What’s the big deal, you ask ?? Read on :

California is one of those states with most strict driving laws and even stricter driving tests. Eight out of the ten people I know have not passed it until the second or third attempt :(

Back in my little town in India, I remember my driving test was a smooth sail, where passing or failing depended more on how much you could pay the inspector rather than how you drove ;) Bad, I know..but what the heck, that was so easy !

But out here now, you realize how serious is this thing you are getting into when you casually tell people about your upcoming driving test and hear a really concerned and heartfelt ‘ Oh !! All the Best!”, more often accompanied by free pieces of advice :” Make sure you don’t slow down too much in a left turn” or “Keep scanning around while in school areas”.

Paranoia sets in pretty easily, especially for one like me who is so averse to driving ( Uh, oh, Fine..Scared of driving ) that I have been bicycling to office until now. Also, read that it makes me proud to bicycle – as a means of great exercise plus avoiding contribution to the traffic pollution !

I digress.

Initial practice sessions were with the hubby, who already has a bad reputation for temper. I respectfully accept the fact that I heard enough and more of foul words from that guy in those few weeks than any gangster in Chicago would ever hear in his lifetime. Okay, exaggeration. But I am a sensitive little being who happens to be his wife, come on now, show some love !

The hubby’s so-called training got so frustrating that I gulped down tumblers of my tears every time I drove. Finally, some solace arrived in the form of ‘Nick’, the driving instructor recommended by a close cousin.

Nick was more than 60 years of age, but maintained a healthy trim body for his small Chinese build. He never used foul words..but..err..yelled anyways, using normal words. Though he said ‘Kickklinggg’ for ‘Keep going’ and ‘ Fined Fote’ for ‘Blind Spot’, he did teach me some cool tricks to backup and parallel park.

However, the day before the test I figured that I held no hope for the next day. The hubby had never ever mentioned that I can pass nor had Nick. If I was worthy of so much yelling, I really didn’t make a good driver.. yet.

I wanted to give it a shot anyway and went to the test center after thorough prayers and pleadings to Lord Ganesha, my favorite one.

The inspector was a lady…sweet looking. She sat down next to me, smiled and softly said “Go straight until the end and then take a right, okay?”. And..my heart almost melted. For the first time in the history of this poor soul, a person had spoken politely/softly while driving !!! I clearly felt my spirits rise and before I knew I was making small talk with her on the road as I drove :D ( Hey, plain breathing was a big deal when driving with Hubby or Nick. So this one surely was something ! )

Take a left ; Change the lane ; Pull over to park ; Back up Reverse – Nothing was complicated anymore.

When done, it felt just natural to hear “Good, you passed.”

Hubby was shocked and Nick almost had a heart attack when I told the news. But, they did smile and nod affirmatively when I pointed out “The inspector never yelled at me. She spoke sweet and polite, I just had to drive and pass”. :)

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