Recipe for a Special Night

Ingredients required:

Pasta
Veggies ( Carrot, beans etc sliced long)
Onion ( sliced in circles)
Garlic pods
Almonds
Red chili
Olive oil
Pesto sauce
Pine nuts
Pepper
Salt

Special Ingredients

A willing husband
A playful baby
Dance music
Favorite Wine bottle
Pretty Wine glasses

Pre-requisite

Feed the baby her dinner
Read book to baby
Ask husband to play until dinner cooked

Method to cook

Boil pasta with pinch of salt until tender and strain the water. Keep aside
Boil veggies with pinch of salt until tender and strain the water. Keep aside
Grind garlic pods, almonds and green chilies into coarse paste
Heat a pan and fry above ground paste in olive oil, then add sliced onions and fry until golden brown.
Add veggies and then pasta and mix tenderly. Add olive oil as needed.
Fry pine nuts separately in a little olive oil and use as garnish

Presentation

Serve salad in a fancy ceramic plate and shiny steel forks
Pour wine into glasses and keep along
Switch on the dance music
Invite husband to eat
Clink the wine glasses and shake your booty to begin the dance dinner
Cheer the baby as she dances and giggles along

Post Presentation activity

Keep aside the plates and glasses
Take the baby to the bedroom and nurse her.
Place her in the bed as she sleeps and kiss her Good night
Change over to a sweet night wear and tip toe out to the living room
Cuddle up with husband on the couch and switch on laptop
Bring up some safe site with free p-o-r-n to his utter surprise-delight!
Watch a video together and get warmer..

Post-Post production activity

Kiss, Kiss, Kiss
Touch, Touch, Touch
Bite.. Lick.. Prod
.
{censored for decency owing to good girl blog status}
.
.
.
Sigh a big sigh of contentment and smile together

After all, the dinner recipe worked like a charm
——————————

Disclaimer :

1) The recipe might prove easier to those with no kids
2) The recipe might prove not-so-easy to those with more than one kid
3) The success of the recipe is highly dependent on circumstances. Fret not if it fails for any reason. Change a few ingredients or the method to achieve desired results some other night.
——————————
Happy cooking!

 

On a lonely night

Tring Tring…Tring Tring

Hubby: Hello

Me: Hey dear

Hubby: Hey

Me: Where are you?

Hubby: Walking on the street with few colleagues. On the way to the Rave party! It’s such an awesome crowd there. You should see the..

Me: Okay, okay. It’s past midnight.. I slog through a difficult day and you just have fun all the while.

Hubby: Well, I worked first few hours in the morning. Rest of the day, its mostly the conference and then party!

Me: Hmm.

Hubby: How’s Paapu ?

Me: She is better. Still has that troublesome cold thingy. I Just put her to bed.

Hubby: Ok

Me: What Ok? Won’t you ask How I am?

Hubby: Tell me

Me: I am tired..missed you so much all week. The other side of the bed seems so empty..

Hubby: Hmm. Ok. Look, got to go now  * loud party music blaring in the background *

Me: What?? I am still talking here!

Hubby: Talk to you tomorrow first thing, ok?

Me: Get Lost! Hmmph! * cannot slam the receiver because it’s a cell phone, so just pressed the                                                             cancel button really hard *

————————–

Fast Forward 5 minutes

————————–

Tring Tring…Tring Tring

Hubby: Hello

Me: Hey, Can you give me contact number of that handsome friend of yours?

Hubby: Why?

Me: Simply. May be he’ll be free and talk to me now. I am on bed ..and bored..you know.

Hubby: Hahaha!!

Me: What Haha? Give me the number. You don’t have time to talk anyway.

Hubby: My sweetheart, my butterfruit..

Me: Don’t you have a party to go to?

Hubby: Yes.Yes. But, hey, I want to talk to you.

—————

Men!

 

The Preggo Points

At 4 months and a week now, I jotted down things that pregnancy has brought me. When does a smile come in and when does a cringe happen. Here goes:

——————————

Smile

- Hubby waking me up with a kiss on the forehead followed by another on the tummy.

- Hubby actually remembering (without reminders!) and making me hot chocolate in  the morning, cutting and packing fruits for lunch dessert, lovingly hiding cookies and other snacks in my carry bag for office hungry hours.

- The extra attention from friends and cousins. Expected to do the least and pampered the most – bliss!

- The wide range of maternity clothing options and a long day of shopping for them in the mall.

- An impromptu visit to the Ice cream shop late in the night for a  No-Guilt-Ice-Cream-loaded-with-chocolate-chips-and-roasted-nuts. What calories?  The doc wants me to have lotsa milk products, fruits and nuts

- Appa Amma and the in-laws checking on me every day and reminding Hubby to be nice to me…every single time! Hehehe.

- The caring enquiries about what I am craving for and actually having some of  them cooked and brought home by awesome friends and relatives here.

- Telling out to an unsuspecting (or so I think) acquaintance or colleague that ‘I am having a baby!’ and watching their face bloom into a happy smile followed by a hearty hug.

- Just lying down on the bed and softly moving my hands over the bulging tummy and imaging what s/he is up to

——————————

Cringe

- Waking up every morning feeling heavier than the day before.

- Mid night trips to the loo. The bladder wins over sleepy eyes and tired head, every single time. Arrgh!

- Frequent throbbing head aches which are manageable, but annoying nevertheless.  They don’t need a reason nor an invitation (of course!).

- Dressing up ( to the office, a casual get together or a grand party ) means sitting and staring at those nice looking ‘before’ clothes in the wardrobe and  feeling depressed at how big you have gotten for any of them now. Sigh!

- The sex, or the lack of it The first 3 months was a total dry spell, thanks to  the doc who wanted us to ‘take it easy’ because she saw some unexpected fluid outside the sac in my uterus. It’s well over the 4th month now and we have had interesting nights for not more than 2 times hence. What is with the hubby acting with all care and affection in bed when I would really appreciate some love and action!

- The hands-tied-down feeling when I am not able to go dandia dancing on navarathri nights, go river rafting on a weekend trip, go biking or running when I  feel like it, go on any more adventurous vacation for some time to come. I know, I  can still take up any/all of these. Many do. But, my history with pregnancy added with the paranoid advices and suggestions from everybody who cares, has actually  tied me up. I stay satisfied with long walks, leisurely non adventure trips,  some lucky days at the riverside strolling barefoot on the wet pebbles.

- Enquiring and advising is all fine. But, I really DO NOT want unsolicited suggestions and tips from few of those nosy women who think they are the gurus of it all  since they have had one or two kids. Each woman is different and please understand  that I cannot be you and do exactly what you ate, said or did.

- My list of food cravings is short, very short. The first line says ‘Fruits’,  second says ‘Any dish tangy and spicy’ and the last line ( in big bold letters)  says ‘Amma’s hand cooked meals’. Enough said. I miss my Amma ( yes Appa too) so very much….come to me soooooon

- The thought of the D-day when I will go into labor..the hysterical pain, the crying. I can almost imagine it and tears of fear swell up. Billions have gone through it, so what big deal with me now, you ask? I have not been in any of their shoes and have only heard stories from people…in fact witnessed one closely.My daily prayers involve pleading to the Gods to make it all right..give me enough strength for a safe and normal delivery.Enough strength to look at my baby and hold it close with a smile..before passing out from exhaustion maybe

——————————

I realize that the pluses totally outweigh the minuses when it comes to the final result. I can’t wait to hold that warm little wrapped bundle in my arms with two rosy cheeks and a pair of twinkling eyes peeping out curiously

By the way, Happy Dussehra to all those who celebrate. Be good and have fun!

Will bring you latest updates from the doc’s room in a few weeks. Maybe.. just maybe… I will have an announcement – BOY or GIRL !

Watch this space

At 4 months and a week now, I jotted down things that pregnancy has brought me. When does a smile come in and when does a cringe happen. Here goes:

——————————

Smile

- Hubby waking me up with a kiss on the forehead followed by another on the tummy.

- Hubby actually remembering (without reminders!) and making me hot milk chocolate in  the morning, fruits cut and packed for lunch dessert, cookies and other snacks lovingly packed and hidden in my carry bag for office hungry hours.

- The extra attention I receive from friends and cousins. Expected to do the least and pampered the most – bliss!

- The wide range of maternity clothing options and a long day of shopping for them in the mall.

- An impromptu visit to the Ice cream shop late in the night for a  No-Guilt-Ice-Cream-loaded-with-chocolate-chips-and-roasted-nuts. What calories?  The doc wants me to have lotsa milk products, fruits and nuts

- Appa Amma and the in-laws checking on me every day and reminding Hubby to be nice to me…every single time! Hehehe.

- The caring enquiries about what I am craving for and actually having some of  them cooked and brought home by awesome friends and relatives here.

- Telling out to an unsuspecting ( or so I think) acquaintance or colleague that  ’I am having a baby!’. and watching their face bloom into a happy smile followed by a hearty hug.

- Just lying down on the bed and softly moving my hands over the bulging tummy and imaging what s/he is up to

———————–

Cringe

- Waking up every morning feeling heavier than the day before.

- Mid night trips to the loo. The bladder wins over sleepy eyes and tired head, every single time. Arrgh!

- Frequent throbbing head aches which are manageable, but annoying nevertheless.  They don’t need a reason nor an invitation (of course!).

- Dressing up ( to the office, a casual get together or a grand party ) means sitting and staring at those nice looking ‘before’ clothes in the wardrobe and  feeling depressed at how big you have gotten for any of them now. Sigh!

- The sex, or the lack of it The first 3 months was a total dry spell, thanks to  the doc who wanted us to ‘take it easy’ because she saw some unexpected fluid outside the sac in my uterus. It’s well over the 4th month now and we have had interesting nights for not more than 2 times hence. What is with the hubby acting with all care and affection in bed when I would really appreciate some love and action!

- The hands-tied-down feeling when I am not able to go dandia dancing on navarathri nights, go river rafting on a weekend trip, go biking or running when I  feel like it, go on any more adventurous vacation for some time to come. I know, I  can still take up any/all of these. Many do. But, my history with pregnancy added with the paranoid advices and suggestions from everybody who cares, has actually  tied me up. I stay satisfied with long walks, leisurely non adventure trips,  some lucky days at the riverside strolling barefoot on the wet pebbles.

- Enquiring and advising is all fine. But, I really DO NOT want unsolicited  suggestions and tips from those few women who think they are the gurus of it all  since they have had one or two kids. Each woman is different and please understand  that I cannot be you and do exactly what you ate, said or did.

- My list of food cravings is short, very short. The first line says ‘fruits’,  second says ‘any dish tangy and spicy’ and the last line ( in big bold letters)  says ‘Amma’s hand cooked meals’. Enough said. I miss my Amma ( yes Appa too) so  very much….come to me soooooon

- The thought of the D-day when I will go into labor..the hysterical pain, the  crying. I can almost imagine it and tears of fear swell up. Billions have gone through it, so what big deal with me now? I have not been in any of their shoes and have only heard stories from people…in fact witnessed one closely.My daily prayers involve pleading to the Gods to make it all right….give me enough strength for a safe and normal delivery. Enough strength to look at my baby and hold it close with a smile..before passing out

———————

I realize that the pluses totally outweigh the minuses when it comes to the final result. I can’t wait to hold that warm little bundle in my arms with two rosy cheeks and a pair of twinkling eyes peeping out curiously

By the way, Happy Dussehra to all those who celebrate. Be good and have fun!

Will bring you latest updates from the doc’s room in a few weeks. Maybe.. just maybe… I will have an announcement – BOY or GIRL !

Watch this space

 

Drumroll Please….!

Last Friday, the 3rd of April, 2009 at around 8:30 in the morning, the Digital Test Stick I peed on, showed me this :

Yes, Yes, That’s right people!

I AM PREGNANT!

I can’t seem to stop saying and thinking of that moment ever since!

The blood test from the doctor’s lab showed up with a ‘POSITIVE’ soon after.

So, its official…I have a tiny little life happening inside me right this moment, as I type!
Uh…I so can’t believe it yet..really. I have been just constantly reminding myself and feeling overwhelmingly happy every single time

Now, here is the story, if you want to know:

It all started in April 2008 when my craving to have a baby took over and I seriously started thinking of having one.We both were within our reproductive age limits, we were married for more than 3 years and spent all that time together doing every single thing we loved to do – travelling being the most favorite.

From Himalayas to Kerala/Kanyakumari in India; from Newyork to California in the US, we had done all the travelling we could.To top it all, our biggest travel wish – Touring across Europe, was coming true in a few days. The tickets were ready, bags packed and the spirits high.

I discussed my mind with H and finally asked “Why not make a baby in Switzerland, while we are there?”. He was taken aback at first, to see I had thought through it so much. But, as expected from any husbands (??), he threw my request out the window saying, “Do you even realize how big that thought is? Not a joke, babe. We are all set for our BIG trip in a few days. Don’t get me all worried over this now. Let’s just have fun, okay?”

I brought it up at least 2 more times during the trip, one time being ..err..right during the ‘moment’ on our soft cozy bed in our hotel room while in Switzerland. He used the condom anyways. Sigh!.

It took me 5 months to slowly and scrupulously make him think in my terms. One evening when his cousin/best friend announced their ‘good news’, he cheered for them heartily. But, I could see he was deep in thoughts that night. He was taking his time to get there.

A couple of days later, over a cup of tea, I asked “We should plan some exciting trip next. It’s been a while since the last one, na?”
And, he said ” No more long distance travel for sometime now.”

“And, why so? ” I questioned.

“Because, you need to take good care of yourself babe. We want to have a baby right?”

I smiled. He had finally gotten there

Starting that day, I hit Google with a thousand queries everyday – ‘trying to conceive’, ‘most fertile days’, ‘ovulation calendar’, ‘ dos and don’ts for couples trying to conceive’…and many many more. I devoured all info on every article and every forum I chanced upon.

With enough online knowledge up our sleeves, we set out on making a baby that month ( hehe, loved saying that). It was September 2008.

The process is so much fun, its orgasmic! Okay, that was a poor joke. But, we did enjoy it every bit From kinky clothes to candle light..from sweet talk to rough fights, I think we got pretty innovate with things. Moreover, you got to get a little creative when you need to have sex every single day for weeks , Don’t cha?

However, with every passing month, when my ‘Aunt Flow’ kept coming right at the precise date, we got bit worried. Once we completed 6 months of trying with no success, I took an appointment with my gynaec. She almost laughed and said it was too early for us to get worried. On an average only 80% of the ‘normal couples’ conceive in the first year of trying. And since I am well within the 30 year age limit, I should not even bother about the results until at least one year. She sent us home with a pat on the back and cheering ” Just have fun, no worries!”

In a couple of weeks, our India trip happened, as planned. During the one month there, I didn’t think our ‘efforts’ would be fruitful. A baby that could not be made in 6 months in a place with a perfect lifestyle, healthy diet, clean air and pure water, how would you expect to make it in 1 month in a place where every single day is insanely hectic, roads horribly polluted and overcrowded?

But hey, miracles do happen

May be it was Amma’s hand cooked meals, maybe the joy and content you feel while in presence of your family , maybe all the good vibes from visiting temples, maybe the good wishes from the loved ones or maybe just the combination of all these and more! This baby is definitely ‘Made in India’

I am five and a half weeks now. Too early to tell out the news? Hell, who cares. I am super excited and want to share it with you all anyway!

We broke the news to our parents together, on a video conference the other day. Words can’t describe how happy they were. My mom almost hugged the video camera

I have no symptoms (nausea, back pain or any such thing *Touch wood* ). But for the occasional craving to eat something tangy, I hardly feel pregnant!

Pray for me a little, you guys. Pray that this tiny life inside me stays put for the entire 9 months and makes it safely to this beautiful world, healthy and happy.

[Note: Have uploaded pics from the India trip on the post below, as promised.]

 

Gentle Simmer..

So, the trip was a huge success, can easily get into the list of one of  our best

I would love to blabber all that was of the days spent vacationing, but  will suffice with putting down just this one incident that got me thinking, and a little panicking too!

It was our first day of the trip. We had just reached Miami and it was late in the evening. And oh, did I mention that we had company?

Vi and Ne, a newly married enthusiastic couple we know, travelled along and were a delight to be around with. Vi, the boy, is a chilled out and fun character while Ne, the girl, is sweet and charming in all she does.

Married for hardly 8 months, they were very much into each other most of  the time.

We 4 got dressed and set out to take a leisurely walk on Ocean Drive near  the beach. A line of very interesting shops and restaurants and a  pleasant crowd made it a perfect place to spend the evening. The air smelt nice and music floated around while the gushing sound of the  waves made a soothing  background.

Definitely romantic na?

Hmmm..but this mad mind of mine did not let that be. 

Vi and Ne were walking ahead of us..koochikooing into each others ears  and laughing at silly jokes while Hubby had an arm casually thrown around  my neck .. his eyes gazed elsewhere. Then I realized he was looking at  everything EXCEPT me. A couple of times he called out to Vi to share a PJ  or info about the place. But never uttered anything to me.

I held him around the waist and walked along silently trying not to bother about my stupid thoughts. But, it doesn’t leave you so easily  now, does it?

With every step, my heart got heavier..more so when I saw the happy  looking couple in front of us lost in their world.

We are together for more than 4 years now, we have had many many  vacations and hundreds of such romantic evenings. Still, that doesn’t  mean he act so numb to me now.

Was it that he has taken me for granted. Am I like a ‘file attachment’  that will always remain along no matter what?

Was it that I no more generate any warm feelings in him on a beautiful  evening like this one?

Was our marriage getting stale..so soon? 

I kept thinking and my brows knotted tighter every minute. He didn’t notice.

My head started hurting with so much of negative thoughts and it came  out in the most unexpected manner – ” So, you are bored of me?”

Hubby was taken by surprise and asked me what was wrong. I mumbled something..he urged.

I really hate myself for the words I uttered then. I almost shouted at  him..blaming him for acting so inert and passive to me, having a keen eye on everything else but the one next to him..

I must have sounded really harsh, because he shouted back at me, almost  hysterically ..and walked back to the car.

The sweet evening had turned bitter for us. Neither of us were ready to  give up and say a sorry.

Back in the hotel room, I still could not bring myself to senses. I lay awake in  the bed sobbing softly. In any of our fights I take  longer than him to calm down. Normally he snaps back to a usual smile and  comes by to take a peek. But, not this time, no sire.

He didn’t sleep.. kept walking around in the room furious and lashing out choicest rude words at me. It hurt bad inside..the words prick harder than anything else, don’t they?

I covered my ears in despair and whispered to H, inside myself:

Just stop being so angry now, talk to me in a kind voice H ..just a word  or two in your usual loving tone..and I’ll run back into your arms. We’ll  be as happy as we were..and forget the bitter evening. 

I could have done it myself..in fact very much wanted to. But, that thing called ego never let me..just like it didn’t let H.

After, what seemed like hours, I called out to H and he turned to  me..still seething.

I said with utmost seriousness -

“You know, when you remain angry for so long it doesn’t look nice on  you. You look like an Orangutan actually.”

“What?”

“You look like an Orangutan when you are angry, really!”

A tiny smile crept on his face..and I laughed out.

H burst into laughter too.

We snuggled up to a stupid sorry and held each other the tightest we could.

All the days that followed were pure bliss. I could not bother less about  what Vi and Ne did or anybody else for that matter.

That incident and the retrospection later on made me realize that romance never left us, it just got pleasantly more comfortable and lingered.

We may not be whispering into each others ears and smiling every other minute, but we do have a good share of that, just enough and then a  little more..

As for the vacationing part, the sunshine state pampered us to bits. The Key Islands offered the best of beaches and the most awe inspiring views.

 

We Parasailed and went soaring up in the air;

We Snorkeled and swam amongst the colorful shiny fish;

We Jet skied and teased the choppy ocean waves;

We Kayaked and caressed the calm bay waters;

We Cruised on a catamaran and lost ourselves in the orange sunset skies..

 

All that was left of what happened on the first day was a warm sense of relief..and realization of what  I once read, probably at Silvara’s.

That, after a while, “Love doesn’t boil, it gently simmers.”

So true that one. So very true.

 

Sex without Love

 

 
Impossible for me, I thought.

How could anyone just share the most intimate moments with another, if he/she does not have this warm feeling in the heart, the feeling that pushes you to kiss harder…to embrace stronger..to melt down in ecstasy.

I know, majority out there think differently. When I heard /read about stories of ‘No love, just sex’ – I never understood it.

How?? I never could answer.

I think I finally know what that means.

Had a very bad fight with hubby yesterday. Very Very mean and hurtful words were thrown at me, for totally worthless reasons. I preferred to stay silent, tried hard to just listen to those words which entered through one ear and get rid of them through the other. But, they preferred to stay in the head and started to dance around wickedly up there. I felt all the love draining out of me inch by inch..and hate filling up that space.

Yes, I HATED him with whole heart. Go Imagine.

The harder I tried to think sane and stop that wicked dance of thoughts in my head, the more difficult it seemed to do so.

Hmmm. And the night came. We went to bed. The hurtful words had stopped from his end. The pounding in the head had not stopped though, the thoughts in its blackest form, continued.

“Sorry”, he said, ” I didn’t mean to be hurtful. Please smile now..”

Yeah, all is well as soon as you say sorry.

The wounds inflicted will just disappear with those magic words.

My ass.

But..in less than 10 minutes, we were making out.

The hate was still burning in me, but so were the desires. I had to give in .

Those were one of the most intense moments, without any warm feeling in the heart !

I kissed harder..embraced stronger.. melted down in ecstasy.

I guess, I agree with Woody Allen on this one now – “Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.”

 

Edited to Add: I woke up with a calmer head. Though the black thoughts are gone, it is still hard to smile heartily with him.Forgive – I will, but Forget – I might not.

Anyways, hope to get back to the usual fulfilling experience in bed, though the empty ones are good, once in a while

 

 

What a steal !

Each one out there deserves a “Me Time”.

You know what I mean – the time when you are with nobody else but yourself. No spouse, parents, siblings or friends – not even those whose presence comforts you normally.

This urge of being all alone yourself, doing the simple things you like and spending a quite evening – I get this urge every now and then.

So, why not just do it? Now, that’s the question I hate to answer.

Hubby does not believe in “Me Time” !

“It’s  Bull..*”, he says.

Maybe true with him..but hello, I am not you.

He still does not understand and hardly makes any effort to understand.

Okay, when I don’t get the  “Me Time” by direct means, I steal.

Last weekend, one of our common friends invited us over for a lunch and just a hang out. But, I was in a different mood. I asked him to go ahead without me.

“Why?? Why aren’t you coming?” ( total surprise )

“Yeah, I need some time myself. Moreover, we just spent so much time with them few days back”

“Is this about having spent time already?!”  ( Brings a ridicule on the face)

“Not really, I just..”

“You are coming.”

“No, I..I was thinking of getting out my canvas today. Have plans to paint”

“Oh..Hmmm.You sure?”

“…yes”

That was easy.

I spent a good amount of time reading, browsing, watching old albums, munching little goodies, humming my favorite songs..”

It was fun !

Then came a phone call from him :

” Hey, how is your painting coming along?”

“Uh..umm..good”

“I am starting in about 10 minutes and will be there before 7 “

“Okay”

Wow, that was close.

I hurried to get out my paint and canvas.Oh, how I love  it when in the right mood and mind set.Alas! this was not one of those times.This time, it was nothing more than a means of pretext..

Not a thing came up in the mind.So I started on a scene of sunrise..literally forcing myself to start at it!

He came back and saw me busy ( at least I looked like I was).

After an hour, I completed , not surprisingly, my worst work so far on the canvas. I hated it.

It was time for dinner and I went to him “Let’s have dinner”

“You are done with the painting?”

“Uh..yes.But, I tore it up”

“What?! Why?You spend all this time and effort and then tear it ? You could have spent that time with friends instead!”

“Hmm”

Well, I had a nice evening 

 

 

 

 

Anniversary – One more.

We complete 4 years of togetherness today.

Based on last year’s experience, I hardly expected more than, hmm..a flower from him.

And, maybe a card.

I was so very sure he would be least prepared to wish me back when I presented to him a bright new shirt and a warm wooleny sweater.Infact, I believed it in my head.

Oh, how wrong was I !  (And how happy that I was)

That belief in my head shattered and melted down to a sweet guilty feeling when I woke up to a gorgeous arrangement of:

• A teddy bear holding a card
• A red heart shaped box full of chocolates
• Fresh smelling flowers – not plucked out..still intact in a pot of moist mud.
• A string tied to the flowers which held a shiny red balloon that said “I Love U”
• A light pinkish coffee mug with two tiny hearts on the inside. . entwined together.

All that surrounded by a fort of lit candles

Hey, you – How do you succeed to overwhelm me with love for you, when I least expect !

Mushy..yes, that was how I exactly felt/feel. Pathetically mushy.

And, to top it all he then presented me with a bright red wool coat with a velvety black inside – the one I was looking since many weeks, but failed to find.

Happy Anniversary to you dear.

I never tell you this, but I know that you are the luckiest thing that happened to me and you are actually the ‘better’ of the two halves.

Wish to celebrate  the 40th anniversary with you one day – with same zeal,  same joy and same pride..

 

 

 

Don’t say that !

Me: ( voraciously gulping the steaming hot uttappam dipped in coconut chutney ) Hey, I have been doing the morning runs for many days now. Why do I still not feel thinner ?

Him: ( not taking off his eyes from the spicy rasam vada he is having) Oh, come on .You have hardly run a few days now.

Me: What ‘few’ days? I have been running for more than 3 weeks now..

Him: No way. You started recently.

Me: ( slightly irritated) How can you say that? I think I have definitely covered atleast 30 miles by now. .counting 3-4 miles per run and 5 miles on weekends.

Him: Nyaah.Less than 20, I think.

Me: ( more irritated now) I started running from <day mention> and then doing it regularly twice a week..you know that!

Him: Hmm..so totally how many days does that come to? ( calculates in head)…9 days

Me: ( rolls eyes with a ‘didn’t-I-tell-you?’ look) That is more than 30 miles.

Him: (Slows down eating) Don’t look at me like that. I think you will murder me some day ..

Me: ( silently eating and not talking for the next 2 minutes)

Those last words from him felt painful. He said it seriously, not as joke..maybe with a purpose of hurting me. Because they did, very much.

I love him. A LOT.My everyday prayers mention his health and well being.

I did keep silent in those last 2 minutes. Actually my heart was saying ” Don’t say that ! I would kill myself before I think of murdering you. I really love you dear, I do”

 

 

 

The Good Night Kiss

Every single night that I remember,of being with him, yesterday was the wierdest.

He has never ever slept without cuddling me up and kissing me a good night..

There were nights when he was damn tired ( work or travel or anything), there were nights when we had just had a bad fight and were totally pissed off with each other, there were nights when there were a 100 other things that ran in his brain ( causing short circuits and sparks, often, ofcourse) and kept him engrossed – But…never a night when he fell asleep without holding me tight and kissing me a good night…

..except yesterday.

It was a normal night, when none of us were sooo tired , or engrossed in thoughts or had fought so bad ( we did..hmm..but yeah, not as bad as it could have been), and I was very much ready to get burried in his arms and blissfully cuddle up in that warm position, remain there until kissed good night.But, I waited..and waited..eye closed and just pretending. Smiling in sheer anticipation .. sure that he is simply making me wait ..whenever I heard a tiny sound of movement.

I think I waited for a long time..before thoughts started to become hazy and wiry and mixed up ..until I woke up today morning.

SIGH.That was NOT a good feeling when I recalled the night.Nothing was ‘wrong’..but nothing felt so right either !

He was his usual self in the morning…Running to me and kissing a good morning et all.
————–

‘ Why did you not hold me for a ‘good night’ yesterday?’.

‘I did not?.Hmm..lemme think..Hmm’ ( looking up while scrathing the new stub)

“Yes, You did NOT. Why?’

‘Maybe you were watching TV while I went to bed..’

‘Noooooo.We slept together!!!!’ ( making a face to convey -How could you forget that too !!)

‘Oh. Okay..Yes….I just fell asleep’ ( with a ‘have-no-idea’ smile)

————–

That felt wierd.It still feels. Do I need to worry?
I think no, but I do need to hold him tighter from tonight.

Hmm.