Horrors, by mistake :)

A high spirited, chirpy new friend of mine tagged me quite some time back.

Quoting the clichéd ‘better late than never’, here is the list of my domestic horrors:

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I am this just-married brand new bride who does not know the in-law’s language and hence communicates with them mostly in English or sign language.  It is only a couple of days with the in-laws and the MIL switches over from English to her native language (Tamil) without any warning! I smile or nod stupidly at everything she says, with no clue about the meaning whatsoever

One fine morning I am seated in the living room with the newspaper when MIL walks by saying something in Tamil. I nod with a smile, as usual, before getting back to the newspaper.

In a few minutes, I smell something burning. But, I had no reason to worry – MIL was in charge of the kitchen anyway, I thought. The smell just kept getting worse and I opened the windows and doors to drive it out. Finally, when there was no sign of the stink subsiding, I entered the kitchen to find NOBODY there, but a vessel full of milk boiling and spilling out into the flames !!

Apparently, the MIL had told me in her PUREST form of Tamil that she was going out for a while and there is milk boiling on the stove. Bah! I was embarrassed to bits when FIL and my other half laughed hard at my horror stricken face.

But, heaven knows I wanted to shout at the MIL and say- “You could have cut some slack and told it in English for this poor Non-Tamil soul here, no??!”

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Me and H moved into our first little rented house in Bangalore a little after the wedding and set up a ‘home’ together. After recovering from the initial shock to learn that I am in charge of the kitchen all by myself with no help, I got to serious business. From cooking rice to making sambhar and curry – H yielded ( had no other way, I guess) to be the guinea pig for my culinary experiments Some misses and some hits, but I grew more confident by the day.

One morning, when H was away in office, I was frying some veggies but got distracted and went away to the other room, only to come back and find all my hard work turned to black charcoal in the pan.I couldn’t take that kind of insult on my attempts (ahem), picked up the purse and walked out to a nearest restaurant.

I came back home with a big styrofoam box full of hot spicy curry, nicely transferred it into a fresh vessel, stirred it with a spoon and covered with a lid. H came home for lunch those days because I was not yet working then. Plus, he loved the yummy home made food his new wife made ( or so I like to believe). No doubt, the ’special curry’ received much compliments and I was praised to no end…he thought I had finally got there! ( where?)

Only a couple of years later, when I had indeed mastered most of his favorite dishes did I let him into the truth of the special curry he enjoyed so much one day and wondered why I did not make it that way ever again !

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I was working on a project assignment and moved to the US for the first time, alone. I was put up in a company provided fully furnished apartment. It had a beautiful kitchen with all amenities – Fridge and Oven to vessels and spoons, you name it. I mostly cooked, but ordered in on lazy days. The leftover pizza that I ordered on one of those days was packed in a silver foil and kept aside for dinner. At night, I promptly picked it up , with the silver foil et all , put it in the microwave and pressed ‘Start’.

It took only a few seconds before fumes started emerging out wickedly. I was too nervous to even get closer and switch off. But, thankfully, it switched off on its own soon… after a loud explosion creating a big hole  on the microwave door

My company was too kind and paid the damage costs while the apartment people left me with a warning only.Why? Maybe because the whole thing did not involve a fire engine and police knocking on their doors. Hehehe.

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Cannot think of any major horror story since then. Oh, that translates to “I have now become so much responsible and cautious and superb at all I do in the kitchen ..I am simply – awesomely – fantastically GREAT!”

Ok, not exactly that..but something like that

What’s your part of the horror story?

 

Tag Time !

When you have some extra time to while away and you are not exactly in the mood to write a post today, take up a tag people

Am doing this one passed on from one of my dear girls : ChildWoman

Okay, I am one who royally skips the ‘Rules’ part of any tag I read. So, chucking it here too.

The question paper was not as easy as expected

Anyways, here goes:

 

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

Hmmm..That would mean nothing less than the end of the relationship. While miserable days would follow, this butterfly will try hard, bounce back and flutter away soon after

 

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?

My current dream is to make a beautiful little baby girl and proudly bring her up. (God, you listening up there?)

 

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?

If possible, I would LOVE to kick the stupid big butts of all those corrupt politicians in India and appoint a socially responsible group of people instead. 

 

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

(Err, why does every single tag in the world have this billion dollar question?? ) 

Buy a big bright home with a splendid little garden. Take Appa-Amma to exotic places around the globe. Everything else will go towards resolving world hunger and poverty.

 

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

Possible..as long as the best friend is a male

 

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

Being loved, without doubt! I am big sucker at this .Always need to be loved.

 

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?

Is it too late to say I have never felt/ experienced love to that heights to say ‘forever’ here ?

However, I know a couple of guys who said that to me in their ‘Romeo Moments’ but are happily married now

 

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?

Ahmm.. If he is has not committed yet, I would tell him the secret anyway and cross my fingers in hope.

 

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Told it many times, telling again – World Hunger and Poverty. 

 

10. What takes you down the fastest?

The ones who think too high of themselves and look down upon you.

 

11. Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

Can’t paint a picture, but surely in very happy times

 

12. What’s your fear?

Standing all teary in public..with none to hold.

 

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

A wonderful being full of love. Beautifully down to earth.  Amazing writer.

 

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Single and Rich. Poverty is a bane, easy said than experienced.

 

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Call out to the hubby and hug him with a tight Kissie

 

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?

Hehe, that sounds like a joke. Two people at the same time? That’s probably attraction, not love.

 

17. Would you give all in a relationship?

Yes. As long as the other believes in it too.

 

18. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?

Nope! Not a chance!

 

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

In a relationship. Definitely need a shoulder to lean on and lips to kiss on , when I feel like it

 

20. Tag 6 people.

You looking for a topic on the next post? Take this one up now, Free!

 

The art of going RED …with embarrassment

Must be your good day.  You are in for some big laughs – all at my cost !

I hereby display my bravery ( which, by the way, needs to be enormous in this case) by listing all the ultra mortifying moments in my life, chronological order.

Here goes :

• I must have been around 7 years old when I was spending a summer vacation at an aunt’s place. They took me along for a pooja ceremony at their neighbors place. I recall a crowd of more than 50 people – all busy and chatting around, hardly giving any attention to the actual ceremony. I was new and tried to keep to myself and in the course gulped down nearly 4 glasses of a yummy tasting fruit juice which was offered to the guests. Obviously my bladder was pressing me for a restroom break within a few minutes. I am not sure what I was thinking – that it was bad to ask people about rest room during a pooja? Maybe. I kept mum. All the while the pressure increased. I discovered in few minutes that I could divert the urge by swinging my arms widely. At one point, it became so bad, that my arms started hurting by the vigorous swinging!Some concerned people came to me wondering what I was up to. I still kept mum ( Arrrgghh, why?!).When I could no longer stand it, I finally ran to my aunt with tears rolling down the eyes and hands on..err..you know where. Almost half of the people were watching while my aunt hurriedly took me towards the rest room. Though it has been years and years ..I have never forgotten it and never will, I guess. Oh, that silly little girl who thought seeking a restroom was a sin!

 

• It was my first day in the engineering college. For a small town girl, I think I was pretty well dressed..ahmm..except for the little silver butterfly on my ponytail. I wondered why the senior guys ( who, by the way swarmed around to get a glimpse of the new birds in the block) gave me a pleased look until I turned my head to walk away. I think I heard a few giggles..giggles from the BOYS! Through half of the day I was blissfully unaware why some of my classmates pointed fingers and showed me to their bench mates. I was actually proud to be pointed out..maybe I was the star of the day? When one of them opened her mouth to say ” Nice butterfly up there. It even flutters the wings when you walk!”, before chuckling, I finally knew I was not the star of the day after all – at least not the way I thought. Why didn’t the earth open up and gulp me at that moment, God ?!!!

 

• Well through the first year of college, I became popular enough to be noticed – this time, all in the right sense. Outgoing, friendly, smart, talkative, talented and such attributes were associated to yours truely and I walked around quite confident until…this guy from another department was introduced to me one evening by a common friend. I had this thing for smart and intellectual guys who need not necessarily be very good looking either. There were many of that sort, I knew and was comfortable with, but this guy was different. He spoke with superbly high confidence and intellect, yet being funny and charming all the while. I reciprocated..and gave away a little too much, I guess. I had this scarf kind of thingy around my neck and as I talked, I removed it , tied up around my finger, removed it back, tied it back up around the neck, removed it again..around the finger… back on the neck…you get it, right? I might have repeated this for at least a dozen times when I finally realized and stopped..and grinned.. foolishly. That was not the end ..mortification happened in the true sense when after a week I attended this seminar on body language and behavior ..where that same guy was one of the main speakers. It seems he was a certified ‘Interpreter of Body Language and Behavior’ ! Ayyyooo…Shucks, Shucks, Shucks..!

 

• Final year and the last semester in college, I was very much in love with this guy who is now the hubby. As is normal, we did all to please each other. One day he asked me ever so sweetly that he wants some pictures of me (prints, not the digital version ). He said he wanted many of them and in different poses. Was I happy to fulfill this romantic sounding wish from my prince charming, or what? It was cheesy to think of him lovingly look at my pictures 24X7, but what the heck? I very much lived in my dreamland, where anything was possible! I went to the nearest photo studio with a group of friends – who, by the way, were super excited to help out..again, pure bollywood filmy type ’saheliyan’. I posed and posed, putting the old ‘Saira Banu’ to shame, probably. Imagine any stupid looking pose you can think of..even the ones where you pretend to be walking and then turn back to smile ( Yeah, yeah, laugh you may). Finally when the pictures came out, I thought they were silly, but sent them to my guy anyway. I expected him to laugh a bit, but when it was a roaring unstoppable guffaw, I asked him what was so wrong? His answer haunts me to this day -  “I asked for the pictures to show to my parents. They wanted to see you in a sari. I forgot to mention that. By the way, just make sure that studio guy doesn’t sell those pictures to a local wine shop..the girl with pretty poses in jeans and little skirts.Hahahaha..!”   I went so red with embarrassment..took me days to stop thinking about it. I could hardly look straight at my in laws when I first met them. Thankfully, all these years, that topic has been never spoken of in their presence although the hubby has his stomach full laughs recalling the pictures every once in a while .

 Phew! While this list is not exhaustive, I will prefer to maintain a little trace of dignity by saying – all the rest that did not make to this list are much milder and pale in comparison.

Now, to think of it, this makes a cool tag ( cool because I cannot get physically beaten up for passing this on. Yay! to the virtual world)

I tag.. in fact DARE these dearies to reveal their list ( if any , of course).

Chandu

DewDrop

GNightGirl

 

 

Eppy Badhay to meee..

I am wearing a pretty little skirt and a tank top, a sweet smelling new perfume and feeling really bubbly today. I find myself involuntarily smiling away to glory at whomever walks by me today. They see it or not, I FEEL special today.

It’s by B’day !

The hubby started it sweet by waking me up at the exact tick of 12:00 in the night and wishing me with a passionate kiss that lasted 2 full minutes * blush blush*

He has booked tickets to visit the Niagara Falls and we are starting tonight on a long weekend trip.

First time to that ‘heard-a-lot-and-seen-too-many-pictures-already’ place for me.
Exciting..yes, yes.

One of my old buddies called up to wish me in the morning. ” Hey, you still seem to maintain the same old enthu of a little girl! I remember you Wearing a new dress, holding a pack of sweets, standing in front of the class and happily grinning when all sang ” Happy B’day to youuuu……”.

“Of course! I am still a ‘Complan Girl’ kano.I wish they did it in my office too.”

Yep. I am a bit crazy that way. It is quite easy to make me jump with joy.

Have been thinking of some topics to post recently. But, When I am this jumpy and beaming, I need to try really hard, thinking straight

So, this ‘Fives’ tag from my new friend DewDropDreams should suffice.

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“Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.”

(1) What were you doing 5 years ago?

The exact same day, five years ago? That day was my b’day too. What a coincidence ?!

Jokes apart, 2003 was THE BIG year for me.

Graduated – College days sadly ended – Aggressive job hunt – First job – First salary – Got Engaged – Got Married.

Phew! I know, that sounds too much for one year. I can explain. But, that will take another 10 posts.

(2) What are 5 things on your to-do list for today?

- Complete the tasks for the day at office
- Get back home for an early dinner
- Last minute packing
- Get ready and leave to the airport on time
- End the day falling asleep in the plane leaning on hubby’s shoulders.

(3) What are 5 snacks you enjoy?

- Garama garam samosa
- Gelato, any flavor
- Crackers
- Pani puri/ Golgappa
- Corn flakes – crispy fresh in ice cold milk

(4) What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?

- Hire some smart brains to come up with practical solutions to eradicate hunger and poverty in the world. Implement them.
- Buy a cozy house with about 4 bedrooms, a gym, a swimming pool and a HUGE garden full of flowers and a play area!

Don’t think I will be left with a anything else after the above two are fulfilled.

(5) What are five jobs you’ve had?

Five jobs?! I have had just two – Taught in a college for a few months then joined the rat race in the software industry.Still running the race.

I tag anyone who is looking for a topic to post and reads this . Enjoy maadi !

Will be back by monday. Tata now.

 

10, 9, 8…about me

My first tag, Yay !

Since my ‘About’ page tells very little of me, I picked this tag from here and here ( Yes, I like to blabber about myself, so? ).

Ten Things You Wish You Could Say To People Right Now (names withheld)

I don’t think I love you as much as you love me.Sorry..Will catch up anyway.

You are nice to me and a sweet person..but why do you talk so much?! Give your vocal chords ( and our poor ears) a break!

You are bossy..and I don’t really like you.

I wish you find your life partner soon. I miss having you in the same plane as me friend.

I feel very guilty for what I did to you. Not entirely my fault..but I did loose you..forever.

Miss you.

I think you will make it big in life, dear bro.Please Concentrate.

I can dance..but not as well as you.

I still think of you sometimes.

You have so much potential. why are you so lazy and ignoring it?!!

Nine Things About Yourself

Enthusiastic for anything : singing, dancing, merry making!

Enjoy traveling ( not necessarily expensive trips)

Love laughing out loud, heartily ( can embarrass you in theatres

Unless there are right audience, do not like to cook

Love to socialize/meet interesting people

Hate paper work ( filed your taxes yet?)

Like dressing up – will pounce on any slightest chance

Enjoy painting – but judge self a LOT with the outcome

Believe and follow – Neatness next to Godliness

Eight Ways To Win Your Heart

Have a twinkle in your eye

Dress well

Talk fluent

Be humorous

Smell nice

Show you care

Show you care more

Be popular in the crowd

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot

Am I looking good?

Oh, I could do this.

Wow! I could never do this!

What the f**k !!

Yay !

Shit !!!

What’s plan for weekend?

Six Things You Regret

Not growing up in a city

Not taking up painting seriously back then

Sitting and reading when amma wanted my help

Hostel life could have been made better

Scaring little bro, as a big sis

That bad break up could have been handled better

Five Turn-Off’s

Shabby looks/bad dressing

Bad English

Serious-no-fun attitude

MCP’s

High nosed/egoistic behavior

Four Turn-On’s

Hubby in formals, set to leave to the office..all fresh and smelling grt!

Madhavan in RHTDM

Those men’s perfumes ( no no no..can’t name them)

Sexy Bikes..uhmm..riders

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die

Travel across Europe ( Know what? This one’s about to happen people!)

Act in a movie/TV show ( yeah, yeah..laugh you may)

Have babies ( at least one adopted )

Two Smileys that Describe You

One Confession

I try and be nice to everyone, sometimes even when I despise them. Hate myself for this. 

Arrgh! Can’t help it.