Sex without Love

 

 
Impossible for me, I thought.

How could anyone just share the most intimate moments with another, if he/she does not have this warm feeling in the heart, the feeling that pushes you to kiss harder…to embrace stronger..to melt down in ecstasy.

I know, majority out there think differently. When I heard /read about stories of ‘No love, just sex’ – I never understood it.

How?? I never could answer.

I think I finally know what that means.

Had a very bad fight with hubby yesterday. Very Very mean and hurtful words were thrown at me, for totally worthless reasons. I preferred to stay silent, tried hard to just listen to those words which entered through one ear and get rid of them through the other. But, they preferred to stay in the head and started to dance around wickedly up there. I felt all the love draining out of me inch by inch..and hate filling up that space.

Yes, I HATED him with whole heart. Go Imagine.

The harder I tried to think sane and stop that wicked dance of thoughts in my head, the more difficult it seemed to do so.

Hmmm. And the night came. We went to bed. The hurtful words had stopped from his end. The pounding in the head had not stopped though, the thoughts in its blackest form, continued.

“Sorry”, he said, ” I didn’t mean to be hurtful. Please smile now..”

Yeah, all is well as soon as you say sorry.

The wounds inflicted will just disappear with those magic words.

My ass.

But..in less than 10 minutes, we were making out.

The hate was still burning in me, but so were the desires. I had to give in .

Those were one of the most intense moments, without any warm feeling in the heart !

I kissed harder..embraced stronger.. melted down in ecstasy.

I guess, I agree with Woody Allen on this one now – “Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.”

 

Edited to Add: I woke up with a calmer head. Though the black thoughts are gone, it is still hard to smile heartily with him.Forgive – I will, but Forget – I might not.

Anyways, hope to get back to the usual fulfilling experience in bed, though the empty ones are good, once in a while 😉

 

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This entry was posted in Have a sneak peek into my love life, Meet my crazy other half - The hubby. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Sex without Love

  1. Hi there,

    First time on your blog…came here via blog browsing !

    Intersting blog you got out here, I must say !

    Regarding this post, I agree with your first half of it..as for you changing your views towards the latter half of this post, I think that its becoz deep down you love your husband, you were able to “make out” with him desptie being angry with him !…Whaddya think?

  2. Aparna – Hi and Welcome! Happy that you liked this space 🙂

    Subconsciously, I still loved him..yeah, maybe.

    But that evening was so bad, I don’t think there was even a bit of subconscious role for the ‘making out’.So, I finally understand how empty hearts can still go at it 😀

    – AlwaysHappykya

  3. childwoman says:

    Isnt that what men think, sex is the easy way out….? or maybe he was really sorry and wanted to ‘make it up to you’

  4. ittakestime says:

    This one is in Osho’s rules. 😛
    Fight and sex relation …….. 😀

    Me: Oh, yeah, I agree 😀

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