Impossible for me, I thought.
How could anyone just share the most intimate moments with another, if he/she does not have this warm feeling in the heart, the feeling that pushes you to kiss harder…to embrace stronger..to melt down in ecstasy.
I know, majority out there think differently. When I heard /read about stories of ‘No love, just sex’ – I never understood it.
How?? I never could answer.
I think I finally know what that means.
Had a very bad fight with hubby yesterday. Very Very mean and hurtful words were thrown at me, for totally worthless reasons. I preferred to stay silent, tried hard to just listen to those words which entered through one ear and get rid of them through the other. But, they preferred to stay in the head and started to dance around wickedly up there. I felt all the love draining out of me inch by inch..and hate filling up that space.
Yes, I HATED him with whole heart. Go Imagine.
The harder I tried to think sane and stop that wicked dance of thoughts in my head, the more difficult it seemed to do so.
Hmmm. And the night came. We went to bed. The hurtful words had stopped from his end. The pounding in the head had not stopped though, the thoughts in its blackest form, continued.
“Sorry”, he said, ” I didn’t mean to be hurtful. Please smile now..”
Yeah, all is well as soon as you say sorry.
The wounds inflicted will just disappear with those magic words.
But..in less than 10 minutes, we were making out.
The hate was still burning in me, but so were the desires. I had to give in .
Those were one of the most intense moments, without any warm feeling in the heart !
I kissed harder..embraced stronger.. melted down in ecstasy.
I guess, I agree with Woody Allen on this one now – “Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.”
Edited to Add: I woke up with a calmer head. Though the black thoughts are gone, it is still hard to smile heartily with him.Forgive – I will, but Forget – I might not.
Anyways, hope to get back to the usual fulfilling experience in bed, though the empty ones are good, once in a while 😉