Ladies, the men are still winning.

On a slow moving evening, sitting in the backseat of a car on a long journey, I grabbed this magazine called ‘Little India’ with minimal expectations to pass time. What I got was this very interesting article by one Rohini Verma. It was so thought provoking that I endured typing out the whole article from paper to this space, since this piece didn’t make it to the online archive of this magazine. Chug along and see what I mean –

( Look for the marked lines that are truely applaud worthy)

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The thing about being a woman is that you are dealing with ‘issues’ all the time.

It makes you think about the fine line between not being taken for granted and still being a woman. Why does everything we do define out identity as a woman. And why does everything we do or don’t validate our opinion on gender equality. It’s just out there, no matter which social or economical strata one belongs to.

Somehow, somewhere in the fight to prove our worth as professionals we women just made things worse for ourselves. We increased our spectrum of expectations. Now we have more issues to draw the line on.

There are the traditional issues, such as should I do the dishes every time or should my other half chip in too? And the perennial social issue of how much is it my responsibility to ensure good relations between our extended families?

My parents are gratified when my spouse does the slightest thing for them. When it comes to my relations with my in laws, somehow nothing I do seems adequate. When championing any kind of social equality it becomes a fight across generations of thoughts.

Did the concept of equality somehow just permeate our generation? Did not my mother and my grandmother fight it? And if so what happened? Or is it just our generation that so naturally questions and rebels inequality? Why is it that we feel the need to draw the line? Don’t get me wrong; it’s not that I am sitting on the wrong side of the social fence. But it does appear that the hard won battle of equality of sexes in the boardroom, somehow just remained there.

Yes, we have the metro sexual caring man. When did being caring for your partner become so hip that we had to coin a new word ( metro sexual) to applaud the select few who are just doing the humane thing? When we draw the line, we are being aggressive, selfish, petty and sometimes worse. What should be a natural instinct in men, gets applauded with a fancy title.

Ladies, the men are still winning.

Regression may not be such a bad thing for us. That way we get to be the good people, the pressure and stress lessens on us, as does the workload. Maybe, being a housewife was our best bet. It seems funny that our own fight is beating us.

Sure, I love the freedom that I have now as an individual, the power to choose etc.,etc. But I wonder how much stress can our bodies take, because that is the downside of this fight. Are we equipped for this? And is this still our choice to make or has the sweet thought of equality put us in an autopilot-fighting-mode.

When do we say enough? That I think is the biggest question. Is it the absolute perfect gender relationship we seek? Does that even exist? How do we decide that we have reached there? Is it different for each of us? If so, how will we know?

Drawing the finish line is as important as the race itself. To be respected and treated as equal is our sovereign right, but we need to define the fight before we forget the fun of living.
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7 Responses to Ladies, the men are still winning.

  1. chandni says:

    still thinking over it…will get back…may be with a post 🙂

  2. Great ! Will wait to read the post.

  3. flygye12 says:

    hmm…i don’t know about others but it happens to men-n-men marriages too…my partner does the cooking, the dishes, the cleaning and all the housework while i do what could be the ‘hardwork’ (getting the Bisleri bottle to our third floor apratment, making countless rounds to the downstairs grocery shop, rechargin the dish tv etc etc), but somehow he retains the reigns of decision making in the house…my relation with my ‘saas’ is exactly like any ‘bahu’ would have, we don’t see eye to eye (literally!!) …..i don’t know wot i am rambling about here…do u get the drift?

  4. Hey flygye12 – Hi !
    Good to know from your perspective too. Never could guess how the chores were divided in men-and-men partnership.In most of the people I know, the man does the paperwork and recharging and grocery stuff while the woman does all that cleaning, cookign stuff. Ofcourse many of these are shared tasks many times.

    Haha – literally not seeing eye to eye with the MIL is a hard situation. I have a good sasu maa, but I kinda get frustrated at times which cannot be openly told. You get the drift na? 😉

  5. chandni says:

    this article is really thought provoking…seriously!

    I am still at it…organizing my thoughts!

  6. Priti says:

    Thought provoking….

  7. La Vida Loca says:

    Do think a perfectly balanced relationship exists at all. It’s what works for you. If running a household a certain set of chores/duties need to be done. Now how does/should it matter who does what? Gender equality has more to do with respect for each other, understanding of each others’ role in the work place and in the family. Some days I do the lion’s share of work, some other days, like this weekend when I am sick, the hub did not let me lift a finger. 🙂

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