On a slow moving evening, sitting in the backseat of a car on a long journey, I grabbed this magazine called ‘Little India’ with minimal expectations to pass time. What I got was this very interesting article by one Rohini Verma. It was so thought provoking that I endured typing out the whole article from paper to this space, since this piece didn’t make it to the online archive of this magazine. Chug along and see what I mean –
( Look for the marked lines that are truely applaud worthy)
The thing about being a woman is that you are dealing with ‘issues’ all the time.
It makes you think about the fine line between not being taken for granted and still being a woman. Why does everything we do define out identity as a woman. And why does everything we do or don’t validate our opinion on gender equality. It’s just out there, no matter which social or economical strata one belongs to.
Somehow, somewhere in the fight to prove our worth as professionals we women just made things worse for ourselves. We increased our spectrum of expectations. Now we have more issues to draw the line on.
There are the traditional issues, such as should I do the dishes every time or should my other half chip in too? And the perennial social issue of how much is it my responsibility to ensure good relations between our extended families?
My parents are gratified when my spouse does the slightest thing for them. When it comes to my relations with my in laws, somehow nothing I do seems adequate. When championing any kind of social equality it becomes a fight across generations of thoughts.
Did the concept of equality somehow just permeate our generation? Did not my mother and my grandmother fight it? And if so what happened? Or is it just our generation that so naturally questions and rebels inequality? Why is it that we feel the need to draw the line? Don’t get me wrong; it’s not that I am sitting on the wrong side of the social fence. But it does appear that the hard won battle of equality of sexes in the boardroom, somehow just remained there.
Yes, we have the metro sexual caring man. When did being caring for your partner become so hip that we had to coin a new word ( metro sexual) to applaud the select few who are just doing the humane thing? When we draw the line, we are being aggressive, selfish, petty and sometimes worse. What should be a natural instinct in men, gets applauded with a fancy title.
Ladies, the men are still winning.
Regression may not be such a bad thing for us. That way we get to be the good people, the pressure and stress lessens on us, as does the workload. Maybe, being a housewife was our best bet. It seems funny that our own fight is beating us.
Sure, I love the freedom that I have now as an individual, the power to choose etc.,etc. But I wonder how much stress can our bodies take, because that is the downside of this fight. Are we equipped for this? And is this still our choice to make or has the sweet thought of equality put us in an autopilot-fighting-mode.
When do we say enough? That I think is the biggest question. Is it the absolute perfect gender relationship we seek? Does that even exist? How do we decide that we have reached there? Is it different for each of us? If so, how will we know?
Drawing the finish line is as important as the race itself. To be respected and treated as equal is our sovereign right, but we need to define the fight before we forget the fun of living.