So, the trip was a huge success, can easily get into the list of one of our best 🙂
I would love to blabber all that was of the days spent vacationing, but will suffice with putting down just this one incident that got me thinking, and a little panicking too!
It was our first day of the trip. We had just reached Miami and it was late in the evening. And oh, did I mention that we had company?
Vi and Ne, a newly married enthusiastic couple we know, travelled along and were a delight to be around with. Vi, the boy, is a chilled out and fun character while Ne, the girl, is sweet and charming in all she does.
Married for hardly 8 months, they were very much into each other most of the time.
We 4 got dressed and set out to take a leisurely walk on Ocean Drive near the beach. A line of very interesting shops and restaurants and a pleasant crowd made it a perfect place to spend the evening. The air smelt nice and music floated around while the gushing sound of the waves made a soothing background.
Definitely romantic na?
Hmmm..but this mad mind of mine did not let that be.
Vi and Ne were walking ahead of us..koochikooing into each others ears and laughing at silly jokes while Hubby had an arm casually thrown around my neck .. his eyes gazed elsewhere. Then I realized he was looking at everything EXCEPT me. A couple of times he called out to Vi to share a PJ or info about the place. But never uttered anything to me.
I held him around the waist and walked along silently trying not to bother about my stupid thoughts. But, it doesn’t leave you so easily now, does it?
With every step, my heart got heavier..more so when I saw the happy looking couple in front of us lost in their world.
We are together for more than 4 years now, we have had many many vacations and hundreds of such romantic evenings. Still, that doesn’t mean he act so numb to me now.
Was it that he has taken me for granted. Am I like a ‘file attachment’ that will always remain along no matter what?
Was it that I no more generate any warm feelings in him on a beautiful evening like this one?
Was our marriage getting stale..so soon?
I kept thinking and my brows knotted tighter every minute. He didn’t notice.
My head started hurting with so much of negative thoughts and it came out in the most unexpected manner – ” So, you are bored of me?”
Hubby was taken by surprise and asked me what was wrong. I mumbled something..he urged.
I really hate myself for the words I uttered then. I almost shouted at him..blaming him for acting so inert and passive to me, having a keen eye on everything else but the one next to him..
I must have sounded really harsh, because he shouted back at me, almost hysterically ..and walked back to the car.
The sweet evening had turned bitter for us. Neither of us were ready to give up and say a sorry.
Back in the hotel room, I still could not bring myself to senses. I lay awake in the bed sobbing softly. In any of our fights I take longer than him to calm down. Normally he snaps back to a usual smile and comes by to take a peek. But, not this time, no sire.
He didn’t sleep.. kept walking around in the room furious and lashing out choicest rude words at me. It hurt bad inside..the words prick harder than anything else, don’t they?
I covered my ears in despair and whispered to H, inside myself:
Just stop being so angry now, talk to me in a kind voice H ..just a word or two in your usual loving tone..and I’ll run back into your arms. We’ll be as happy as we were..and forget the bitter evening.
I could have done it myself..in fact very much wanted to. But, that thing called ego never let me..just like it didn’t let H.
After, what seemed like hours, I called out to H and he turned to me..still seething.
I said with utmost seriousness –
“You know, when you remain angry for so long it doesn’t look nice on you. You look like an Orangutan actually.”
“You look like an Orangutan when you are angry, really!”
A tiny smile crept on his face..and I laughed out.
H burst into laughter too.
We snuggled up to a stupid sorry and held each other the tightest we could.
All the days that followed were pure bliss. I could not bother less about what Vi and Ne did or anybody else for that matter.
That incident and the retrospection later on made me realize that romance never left us, it just got pleasantly more comfortable and lingered.
We may not be whispering into each others ears and smiling every other minute, but we do have a good share of that, just enough and then a little more..
As for the vacationing part, the sunshine state pampered us to bits. The Key Islands offered the best of beaches and the most awe inspiring views.
We Parasailed and went soaring up in the air;
We Snorkeled and swam amongst the colorful shiny fish;
We Jet skied and teased the choppy ocean waves;
We Kayaked and caressed the calm bay waters;
We Cruised on a catamaran and lost ourselves in the orange sunset skies..
All that was left of what happened on the first day was a warm sense of relief..and realization of what I once read, probably at Silvara’s.
That, after a while, “Love doesn’t boil, it gently simmers.”
So true that one. So very true. 🙂