I had plans to write down a fun list of things that has been happening with me in recent times.As I biked on the trail bearing the cold evening wind and smiling at the big bright moon above me yesterday, I made a mental note of all that I was going to jot down here.
But, I woke up to a strange day today.
No smile in return to my smile when I woke up, no ‘Good Morning’ hug, not even a word from H.
I knew the reason why, so let it pass. He is taking his time, but will be back to me soon..I thought.
Like any normal morning, on a working day, I got busy packing lunch for both of us while H went into the bathroom to shower. In some time, I heard him come out and get ready for office.
As I stood there, in the kitchen, very sure about H coming in to pick up his lunch and say bye, I heard the main door bang shut. I continued to stand there, fidgeting with the things on the kitchen counter, still assuming that he went out for something and will be back..to pick up his lunch and say bye.
I might have stood there for about 10 minutes before coming out to the living room and finding out his laptop bag gone. So, were his shoes and the car outside. All gone.
He had left..without a word.
Never happened before.
It started yesterday night when we went to this couples place ( Sh the wife and Mh the husband) for dinner.They are H’s distant relatives too.
Sh and Mh are one of the most open minded and liberal people I have known. From ideas for a better socio economic society to dealing with annoying people in the family, their perspective has mostly left me nodding my head and thinking ‘Wow! they should blog!’ (Yeah, I checked, they didn’t. Hmmmph.)
So, after dinner all 4 of us sat down with some really delicious Rasmalai, talking over general matters, when this sensitive topic came up.
Me and H have always had difference of opinion about how far can one go with religious beliefs. Yes, we both are hindus, still.
I am of the opinion that each have their own standards of being religious.
One might want to wake up at 4 AM in the morning and climb up 1000 steps up the hill and pray to feel connected to God.
While some others might just feel equally connected just by sitting at home and chanting a few mantras with devotion.
One might feel that falling at the feet of all the ‘holy’ men and accepting their ‘holy’ prasadam is one way to salvation.
While some others might detest the same, and think there need not be any mediators between you and God. Not holy men.
One might believe that donating generously to temples is the best way to support the betterment of society, indirectly.
While some others might believe direct donations for the betterment of poor and needy is the only way to go.
If you have not guessed yet, the latter are my type of people. H belongs to the former group of believers.
I was caught in the heat of the moment and proved to the crowd how H belongs to the old school of thought and has forced me into it, many times, without my consent. Sh and Mh, supported my point of view fairly aggressively.
I might have pulled some sensitive chord somewhere at some point during this whole thing…because H said ” Then, why did you ever have to marry me?”
I tried making the air lighter by joking ” Well, you did not have your religious beliefs listed on your resume when I chose to marry you” with a genuine smile.
But, I guess the damage was done.
H did not utter a word to me during the entire drive back. I tried my best to tell him that it was just a healthy discussion and I totally support his beliefs though I don’t believe in them.
It is way past 2 in the afternoon now, the next day..and there is still not a word from the other end.
I have left him a voice message , 2 emails and about 5 missed calls so far. I am not being let in, yet.
Have I done/spoken anything that deserves such a punishment?
I do have my right to speak my mind, no? You got your fair chance too.
Come on now, sweetheart, it is getting lonely without you already.
Temples, beliefs and holy men might be all that they are worth…but not enough to keep us sad like this.
Come on now, call up and say “I miss you too”.
I’ll eagerly wait for your bear hug when I reach home from office today.
Are you listening?