What would I do without you?

My sweetest little Paapu,

Amma’s VERY FIRST letter to you!

Have not been updating this space regularly due to various ‘being busy’ reasons. Thought of a number of posts – about the sunny summer, about some frustrating family drama, about our camping trips and many others. But, decided to chuck them all and write this instead. Because, this thing called time ..isn’t waiting. So I better jot it down before it flies away.

Your newborn days are long gone, and I already miss them. You have started rolling over and reaching out already! And, you don’t fit into those tiny little baby socks and newborn onesies anymore 😦 . For the first time in life, I find myself looking back at the past so very often that I fear the present is laughing at me! 🙂

Well, they all did warn me..but, who knew? 😀

I digress.

This letter is for you to see the role your Ajja-Ajji ( my mom and dad) played in the first few crucial months of your life. How they were your world and you were their..well, everything!

To begin, Ajja-Ajji wanted you so badly, they emotional-blackmailed me with “Make a baby, or else we will never visit you in your foreign land!” 🙂 No amount of coaxing to ‘simply visit your daughter’ worked on them. But, the day I announced you were in my tummy, they packed their bags and put on their travel shoes! You won’t believe me if I say, they were dying to come to me when you were just 3 months old in my tummy…only to touch and feel you grow inside. 😀

Ajji took the long flight first and landed here weeks before your expected arrival. Then, when you hastened and arrived 10 days before the due date, I panicked, but Ajji was SUPER DELIGHTED to have you earlier than expected. The way she held you and silently looked at you that day….cannot be described in a million words. I am her daughter, and supposed to be her favorite, right? Not really. From that moment on, YOU, my dear, were her world. 🙂

It was like the whole of universe was focused on one thing for her – taking care of you, showering you with love, making sure you were well fed and happy. And that included keeping your mother ( me, me!) happy and well fed too. 🙂 Ajji stretched all her limits of hard work doing every little thing for both of us that she lost track of her own well being. She needed reminding to rest and eat! That freaky night when she collapsed in the bathroom into an unconscious state for a few minutes….I acted brave and held her. But, I was so fragile with fear…shivering and sobbing from inside. She realized that was a wake-up call and began to rest/eat properly since then. Phew! Such is Love 🙂

While she cooked really yummilicious gourmet items to my liking, I must also make a mention about those awful tasting kashayams and special thingys she made me  consume..all for your sake. The timely, sweet tasting milk from me that you so much enjoy is thanks to Ajji too! 😀

Where was Ajja all this while? In India, repenting his decision to come later..and spending most of his waking hours watching few of those pictures and videos of yours, on loop ..non stop!

Ajja flew in when you were three months old. We were all very eagerly waiting on the tip of our toes to greet him at the airport. I was holding a welcome board (hehe) on one hand and you on the other. Overwhelmed to see him arrive, as I rushed to hug him..guess whom he wanted to hug/hold first? You, of course 😛

You had just started to smile and flashed one very expensive one only few times a day 😉 . Ajja-Ajji greedily waited to catch them all and made such a big deal whenever they got to see one. Initially, I got a little jealous when your precious bright smiles were not coming for me, but only for them.

Oh, It was only a matter of time that your sunny toothless grins came in abundance for everyone….filling the house with such cheer and radiance!   🙂

One of the things I enjoyed the most was your bathing sessions with Ajja-Ajji. While Ajji sat down, laid you on her legs and oil massaged you, Ajja sat beside her holding a musical toy and entertaining you. Then, when Ajji soaped you and carefully poured warm water, Ajja sang beautiful songs as you lay there wide eyed, shaking your little arms and legs in glee, enjoying every bit and still wondering what’s happening??  LOL!

We all made a few long trips together. It is Ajja-Ajji’s first visit to this country and they had a good time being amazed at all things America! But, I still remember that day when we were on road and had to pull over urgently because you were crying hoarse continuously.It seemed like you were tired of sitting or simply unhappy about something. Ajja and Ajji both immediately declared their protest against any long trips then onwards. “Paapu comes first, no matter what! We don’t want to travel or see anything anymore, but her happy face.”

Now, when I have started to go to work, leaving you behind, I am least worried about your well being, because they are home with you. I see you cooing and gurgling in great joy when I return back from office and I thank my lucky stars for giving you such wonderful Ajja-Ajji to take care. For the first 15 minutes, when I hold you close to my chest, take in your sweet smell, feel those chubby little arms grabbing my hair…Ajja-Ajji narrate to me all your ‘adventures’ for the day. They are so excited about every little thing you do..it’s contagious! 🙂

There are only few more weeks for them to pack and depart…go back to their home. I know, it is inevitable, but I am sad already. Sad for you and me, who will miss them so dearly…

They have both started mentioning their return trip and how much they are dreading that day…that moment when they’ll have to pull away from the tight hold of your tiny fingers and go home far far away. “Cannot imagine what we’ll do without Paapu. Will she miss us ?” they ask.

Will you miss Ajji’s animated talk to make you smile?

Will you miss long hours in the garden with Ajja showing you colors and butterflies?

Will you miss their daily stroller walk in the park?

Will you miss their sounds, their warmth, their feel?

I know, I sure will.

This entry was posted in Need to share this, Paapu Tales. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to What would I do without you?

  1. snippetsnscribbles says:

    😦 I know that feeling…

    Although I was frustrated the first few days I was helping SIL with the baby, when the day came to leave, I fought back tears like never before! I wanted to leave on a happy note and with happy memories of the baby 🙂

    And I know think how my inlaws may feel when they leave …

    I hope Auntie is fine. That line about her collapsing had my heart stop for a minute!

    That last picture is so absolutely priceless! 🙂 Paapu and you are totally blessed 🙂
    Me: Aww dear..you do get attched to the little one, no matter what. Hmm.. I can imagine that scene in the airport. Will have to face the tears…shucks, already hate to think of it 😦

  2. enchanted says:

    Is she their first grandchild. The first one is really precious.

    BTW, Paapu looks so different now 🙂 Very cute 🙂
    Me: Yes, their first grandchild. I know, she’s going to be spoilt rotten! 😀
    Paapu is 4 months old..and yes, I do see considerable difference from her newborn pics.
    They keep growing and features keep changign until an year or so I heard . Amamzing na? 🙂

  3. Ajja and Ajji will miss Paapu and Paapu will miss them as well. The only thing is that Paapu will soon forget where are you the adults will not.. So the transition will be so much more difficult on you.

    But now see you have the biggest weapon to blackmail them into coming back..so make full use of it 🙂
    Me: You’re right Comfy. It is the adults who will have a difficult time putting behind things.
    Fute balckmail..haha! Will try that 😉

  4. Brilliant post AHK…grannies are the bestest…i say that from personal experience…:D…in fact i just blogged about my grand-daddy yesterday

    Pappu is so lucky to have such doting grannies!! and god she looks so cute…i still feel like eating up her cheeks!
    Me: Hehe, you are one cheek eating aunt , arn’t you? 😛
    Will hop on and read your post ..

  5. Rani says:

    She is a big girl already!! Gosh, why are they in such a hurry to grow up?

    My nephew is already on solids!! 🙂

    Grandparents-grandchild relationship is so so priceless!!
    Lovely post babe. Take care, you both.
    Me: What’s the hurry! Yeah, tell me about it.

    Your nephew is on solids already? Wow. Has he taken well to it. Post about it girl 🙂

    Thanks for the nice words.

  6. Stone says:

    Lovely post as usual.
    Lots of love to Paapu.
    Me: Thank you very much! 🙂

  7. whinymom says:

    Lovely post Pappu’s Mommy!
    When E was a newborn I used to look at him ad think when will he show us his affection. Before, when I used come back home and he would give a big toothy grin to me but since the week he turned 18 months, he would hug and kiss me back. Its a priceless feeling! So I know what those few precious smiles mean!

  8. Anu says:

    beautiful post… the grandparents-grandchild relationship is something special isn’t it?
    Paapu has grown so much already!
    Yeah can imagine the scene at the airport… it will be heartbreaking! 😦

  9. Aww, aww and more aww..

    I cannot even put down what I wanted to say now.

    The baby is mind-blowingly gorgeous. We could not have expected anything less from u anyway 😉

  10. DewdropDream says:

    Over from Dee’s post … HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Hope you have a fanatastic day ahead 🙂


  11. Rani says:

    Happy birthday girl!!! Hope u have the bestest ever time now and always 🙂

  12. Titaxy says:

    Happy Birthday, AHK!

  13. Titaxy says:

    How come this post didn’t show up on my reader 😦 anyway, it’s so sweet. Paapu looks so adorable. I’m sure she will miss Ajja-Ajji when they leave. Many hugs and kisses to the little one.

  14. weird, it didn’t show up on my reader..that was such a beautiful post AHK!

    a blog that way is awesome, no? it gives you a chance to crystallize the sweet moments and gives you and everyone to return to them!

    of course paapu and ajja-ajji will miss each other. and you too(second preference now that the angel has arrived! what injustice, no?)

    Belated b’day wishes! I hope the first ever b’day you celebrated with paapu was awesome!

  15. la Vida Loca says:

    oh so well said.

  16. I can imagine,how difficult it must be for everyone to leave a cute lil baby like Pappu behind…Specially grandparents are very much attached to them…don;t worry everythign will be fine 🙂

  17. Chinkurli says:

    Ajji ajja seem damn cute…but Paapu is the cutest! Drishti tegibeku! 😀

  18. Sonia says:

    Aww what a beautiful post! I remember when baby R was born, my Mother grabbed her immediately from the doctors hands and she was soooooooooooooo happy 🙂 Now I am eagerly awaiting my baby #2!! Days fly by dear, make the most of everything!!

  19. deethi says:

    😦 we will be moving soon and I know this feeling.However,I am happy that aku has a palce to come back for holidays or JLT and an Ammamma and Thatha who can give 2 hoots to the world and live with him till eternity…give hugs to ajji and ajja and also to papu 🙂

  20. Lively says:

    Cant say enough awwwww… Paapu looks so cuddly and loveable and huggable and kissable and yummy too. Err pardon the last one, but she is 😛
    This is what is the best thing about being Indian, mom is there to take care of everything and you can just sit and enjoy the pampering. But yea, they have to care about themselves too, from what you’ve said.
    But all is fine for them when the candy of their eyes is before their eyes. If the sweet paapu laughs, gurgles and coos at them once, they’ll forget everything and answer her beckoning. She could do that to you and your hubby too. I can almost feel it 😛 and I’m not even a parent.
    Please do an all paapu picture post.
    I know you might not be able to post too often given office and paapu and hubby eating up your time. But we are here sparing a thought for the beautiful baby. So do write 🙂

  21. This is my first time at your blog. And here’s the funny part: Early hours in the office, I am reading your post, and actually have tears in my eyes! Paapu is SO SO SO cute! Grandparents are always special! 🙂

  22. rayshma says:

    This is such a beautiful post! Touchwood!
    And god bless! 🙂

  23. chatterbox says:

    It’s my first visit to your wonderful blog 😛
    This was a love filled brimming in emotions post 🙂
    I know it all for I have seen my nephew grow up real fast,time flies in the blink of an eye and no matter how much we try to capture those golden memories in words, time often never gives us an opportunity 😀

    Loads of love to the little angel 🙂

  24. Swaram says:

    Awww such a sweet post 🙂 Am missing my Ajji nw 😦

  25. CA says:

    Awww … such a sweet post about grandies !! Kids are truly blessed to have such wonderful grandparents.
    And OUR parents take on a totally different personality the moment they turn grandparents … :)) Once strict / disciplining parents become the pampering grand parents !!! Wait for your daughter to grow a little older to see that !

    Its going to be very hard for your parents … is there any way they can get an extension ?? Or may be come back after few months?

  26. Ramya says:

    Pappu looks extremely adorable..Give her many extra hugs and kisses on my behalf..This post is simply amaing..All while reading your post, I was dreaming of my to-be-kid and the bond that my parents will share with their grandparents..I can imagine it must be hard on your parents too when they have to fly back..Dont ya worry,do you think teh grandparents can stay away from Paapu for long?I’m sure they will plan for their next trip as soon as they land in india.

  27. HELLO!!


    (Everything is in caps, coz I want u to know that ur baby is nearly 6 months and we see only 1 letter to her)


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