Aching Thoughts..

I am thinking of her today. That girl who was one of the most talkative among all of our batch in the engineering college. That girl who never stopped smiling and cracking the silliest of jokes even during class hours. That girl who gathered a crowd around her in the hostel and made them listen to her elaborately woven ‘true’ stories. That girl who never bothered to respect the exams or the associated nervousness and yet scored a respectable number on the result day. That girl who played with words and minced them to her desire, hurting a few sensitive souls in the process, but was always quick to realize  and apologize wholeheartedly. That girl whose father was a manager in a firm and whose mother was the principal of a college and who never tried to hide the pride of a sophisticated upbringing. That girl who wore tight salwars and light makeup, but always adjusted her dupatta to make sure her voluptuous bosoms were covered well. That girl who spoke boldly, laughed loud and invariably had a tease in her eye.

But mostly, I remember her as that girl who narrated episodes of her love story, with a glint of naughty smirk every time. He was her cousin, a close cousin. He lived very close to her place. He was dark and strong. He was the only son. He hated studies and dropped out of school after 10th. He was stubborn, never listened to parents. And, he was in love, with her. Very very much in love ..almost bordering crazy. He thought he owned her. He died a little every time any other guy looked at her, or if she looked at them. He bit his tongue hard every time she spoke ( mostly to play him) about someone she admired. He relentlessly kept at her and professed his undying love, persistently.

She loved him back too, spent a lot of time with him whenever she visited home. They fought, kissed and made up every time. But, she always had her doubts. He is hardly educated. And, there was this other distant cousin who lived abroad and visited once a while. He was well mannered, sophisticated and charming. And, he seemed to like her much.”This rough stubborn guy who refuses to stop loving me or that refined charming guy who promises to sweep me away?” was her unabashed question most times. Any of our replies hardly mattered.

Today, I heard about her from my close friend. She finally responded to a email written 2 years back. She finally wrote why she was not in the scene all these years.

She ended up eloping with the rough stubborn guy, much to her parents dismay. While he did menial jobs, she found a well paid job in a reputed company. She worked hard and things almost looked happy. Then, she got pregnant. Sometime after the delivery she was offered a project overseas and it was too good to be true. However, when the bags were packed and ready, her sky broke loose. The baby was diagnosed with abnormal brain development..she would not talk or walk, ever.

As for now, she is home, quit her job after strenuous efforts to keep at it and guilt pulling her back. She spends all the hours of the day taking care of the child while the husband drives a rented auto rickshaw to make ends meet.”I know I am sailing in a sinking boat and I don’t even know how to swim. It is just the matter of time when I will drown and breathe my last”, she wrote.

I have been numb with pain since I heard this and cannot stop picturing her laugh in the hostel corridor, that laugh until tears flowed down.

Fate can be so atrocious ..??!

The heavy knot in my chest seems to be growing bigger…and all I can do is pray hard. Please God, make her pains go away. Help her smile her luminous smile again. Help her..Please…

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51 Responses to Aching Thoughts..

  1. Oh my God! My prayers and wishes to your friend and her child!

    Hugs AHK! I dont know what to say! Many many hugs…

  2. Stone says:

    this is one heart-shattering story of your friend.
    I’m at loss of words, may God does some miracles and fix everything. I’ll pray for her.

  3. Sig says:

    So sad….my heart was heavy too after reading this. Many wishes for happiness her way.

  4. I was just telling mom today why bad things happen to good people. This is very sad.

  5. R's Mom says:

    Gosh…its so sad…I pray to God to give her and her family strength

  6. Scribby says:

    heart breaking certainly..reading this almost drove me to tears 😦 how could destiny be so cruel ? How could God do this to a baby? sheesh..feels really helpless !!!

    I’ll keep her in my prayers AHK…you’re not alone..we all will pray for betterment!

  7. arrgh. I hate it when fate makes decisions.

  8. RS says:

    Ayiooo! What an unexpected turn of events. So so sorry for your friend. I hope God gives her enough strength to get through all these tough times 😦

  9. su says:

    life can be so cruel ! you, and her family,will be in my prayers.

  10. scorpria says:

    I wouldn’t blame fate.

    She could’ve chosen well, but that’s not to say her baby would’ve been fine — but she may not have been in such troubled waters.

    Again, that the headstrong husband has not faulted her for any of this is one part I loved about this post — he’s trying to make ends meet. SO all’s not lost. There’s still love, and compassion, and hope.

    With all of us praying for that family, am sure some good will come of it. God isn’t merciless — and fate and destiny are things we create. I hope they both start painting a more colourful destiny together!

    God, bless them please!

    • Nice words Scorpia. Thank you..

      Yes, all is not lost ( but then, I do not know if the husband is as we assume to be. Lets just hope..)

      And yes, she could have chosen better.

  11. whinymom says:

    I have tears in my eyes reading this post. I hope things work out for her. Amen!

  12. Titaxy says:

    This post hit close to home. I have an uncle and aunt with a child with a condition like your friend’s kid. It is such a saddening thing – I’ve seen that cousin of mine grow from a child to a little boy with such big health issues that will haunt him lifelong. It’s not fair, not fair at all 😦

    Sending loads of hugs and positive thoughts your friend’s way.

    And hugs to you too!

  13. 😦 thats why Lenon said “Life is what happens to us when we are busy making other plans”.

    Since I am in H.R, very recently I attended a Job fest for the “Differently abled”. I met/interviewed 40+ people who have some disability or another. One case I that I can never forget is of this 21 year good looking, tall fair Punjabi looking guy. He is mentally challenged and his mental age is of a 5 yr. old. He cannot read/write or talk in a proper language to express him self and he won GOld in Swimming at the Special Olympics in China! He has received Godfrey’s bravery award etc etc! YOu knwo what made this possible? His mothers love and determination. You should have seen this lady. She was so damn OPTIMISTIC.

  14. She was determined to find some kindof job for him, even if its modelling or even if he just sits in an office and talks to people! The way she spoke to me, all her enthusiasm, determination and optimism almost made me cry.

  15. A MOTHERS LOVE CAN CONQUER ALL. my prayers are`with your friend. hope a miracle happens soon in her life….

    • Ironically — I hear you. If only I can get back in touch and talk to her openly about this topic ( she hasn’t contacted me yet). But, being strong and believing in yourself can do a world of difference. Totally agree..

      May that mother you met exceed all her expectations from life..including her son 🙂

  16. Pepper says:

    This is heart breaking. I think I understand it a lot more because one of Mint’s close cousin’s has a daughter exactly like this. She’s 6 and she still can’t speak or walk. Always upsets me so much when I think about it.

    One thing that bothers me here is the fact that she went ahead with this guy knowing he was a close cousin. Any two people who are closely related are known to produce children with genetic abnormalities and defects. I can’t help but think this could have been avoided had she given this good thought. Marrying a cousin should be a big No No.

    But anyway, what is done is done. And thinking of causes does not lessen her plight. I wish her all the strength. God Bless.

    • A-kay says:

      Exactly my thoughts. Especially in this day and age, with so much awareness, I am wondering why she married a close cousin.

      That she chose this path is her fate, I suppose and I truly pray & hope, she & her husband find the strength to surmount.

      • Pepper and A-Kay :

        You two have mirrored my thoughts which I purposefully omitted from the post.

        I still think fate is not entirely to be blamed..in this age and year when everyone realizes the dangers in close relation marriages, she went ahead with the risk. She could have chosen better..

  17. Make her pains go away….that’s all I would beg to God too.

  18. avymom says:

    Wishes and prayers for things to improve!

  19. Pesto Sauce says:

    Fate can indeed be so cruel, I have seen so many lives around me fall apart that I have lost count. Seeing all agony around I really count my blessings and try not to crib about minor difficulties

  20. This is heart breaking..I wish god give her all strength to handle this tough time..

  21. Suma says:

    This is heart breaking 😦 almost in tears when I read this blog. My prayers and wishes to your friend and her child! I wish god give her all the strength to handle this time….

  22. chandni says:

    why why why? 😦

  23. Deepa says:

    OMG! I just read this post, it is very sad, I pray that your friend gains enough strength to go on in her journey. I felt very bad reading this. I saw an aunt of mine go through this, her kid died when he was 10. It is very heart wrenching.

  24. MoRS says:

    Extremely sad. But I do have a question. If your friend was the primary earner, why couldn’t his husband be at home and take care of the kid. They could have hired additional help too. You have written that they were probably moving abroad when the kid was diagnosed with the disease. Wouldn’t it have been a good idea to move abroad anyways and look for care/medication there? West has better facilities for such kids.
    Just curious, of course. I am sure they had there reasons. But given how they miserable they are now, any other option could have been better.

    • MoRs – Valid question. I wonder about that too..but have no answer until I can get to talk to her.

      But, there must have been valid explanations to why she did what she did..am sure.

  25. Bikram says:

    This is such a sad story when everything was going right God had to play such a evil trick on her…

    I hope god looks upon them favourably .. dont know what to say lost for words

  26. very sorry to hear this. Your post almost brought the girl alive in front of my eyes….hope things are better now. Life may seem unfair and it may seem foolish to acknowledge the presence of God. But it is only faith that can move mountains. My sincere prayers….you never know when, where and how a miracle awaits us.

  27. Sugeeth says:

    I feel sorry for her, most. I think you should advice her to start working. It is going to be tough, but i don’t see any way, how an auto driver could support such a child? As a mother, it is her priority to give the child its best chance of survival, and that can happen only this way, i think. She is educated and She should maybe get her mother or MIL to look after the child, while she goes to work.

    I hope everything gets well. It is only on hearing such stories that one recognizes how much he/she is blessed.

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